I was doing so well. My resolve was solid. This time was going to
be different. Then we had to go and have a stinking snow day. I got up, washed
three loads of laundry, cleaned the kitchen and the bathroom, checked Facebook
and my email a dozen times. It was only 10am. *Sigh* Then that pesky little
voice in my head started whispering…..You can handle it…. Only a simple little profile….
Everyone else is doing it…. You can stop anytime you want….Just see who is out
there…. STOP THE MADNESS!
It’s like a drug. Seriously. I don’t want to do it. And yet I DO
want to do it. Maybe if this blog thing doesn’t work out for me I can start my
own Plenty of Fish Anonymous; (POFA). J (For those of you who may be wondering, Plenty of Fish is a free
online dating site. I have used it off and on for, well, let’s just say a
while.) I googled to see if there was such a thing as Online Dating Anonymous. (I
know, that’s really, really sad.) Turns out there isn’t. There are sites to
tell you how to online date anonymously,
but that was the extent of the help. It would appear that I am the only person on
the planet with this problem. I did, however, discover there are plenty of other
conditions that apparently need a 12 step program. Seriously, these are real
organizations. Well, if you consider having a website a real organization.
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Co-Dependents Anonymous. Hmmm. No Comment.
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Over-Eaters Anonymous. Hmmm. Again. No Comment.
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Gamblers Anonymous. Wonder how many people joined last week when
they didn’t win 1.6 billion dollars.
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Liars Anonymous. Wonder if they take referrals.
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Shopaholics Anonymous. Do thrift stores count?
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Hoarders Anonymous. When Shopaholics Anonymous doesn’t work.
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Romantics Anonymous. I thought I had found something here. But it was
just the name of a French movie.
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UnderEarners Anonymous. Seriously. This is a thing. A legitimate 12
step program. It stems from the premise that under earners are time drunks who
waste their life with frivolous activities instead of pursuing legitimate
goals. Hmmm. Double Hmmm.
This one is my favorite. I don’t know why. It just is.
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Kleptomaniacs Anonymous. I love it. Here is part of their official
statement “..counseling for shoplifting addicts. (CASA) is a unique,
independent and secular weekly self-help group”. I find it interesting that they
feel compelled to throw in the word ‘secular’. I mean I understand it is
because traditional 12 step programs require acknowledgment of a higher power,
but it still stood out to me. I went to their website. This guy offers a weekly
phone counseling service. There is even a testimonial with an unidentifiable
person holding a hair dryer. I’m not making this up.
And I guess I shouldn’t be mocking it either. These groups could be
helping real people with genuine problems. The good news for me is that while I
spent all that time researching ‘anonymous’ groups, I didn’t take the time to
put back up my online dating profile.
I am not against online dating as a concept. I have met some very
interesting and quite nice men through the process. You may even get to ‘meet’
some of them here at a later time. However there is quite the pull on me to
fall back on it like a crutch when I get lonely. That does bother me a bit. It’s
like a quick fix. A temporary buzz. Overall though it is mostly meaningless
(frivolous) banter and does actually waste time (instead of pursuing a
legitimate goal). Maybe I should go back and bookmark the Under-Earners
Anonymous website.
Hope Out
What time is the meeting? :)
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