So Here I Go>>>>
The Struggle Is Real. It Is. I know the phrase is generally used in an ironic and humorous manner, which is my ambitious objective as well. But make no mistake, the struggle IS real. The struggle of being single. The struggle to fit in and be accepted. The struggle to make ends meet. The struggle to find my place in the world. So let’s start with the basics. Since this is my debut post, let me introduce myself. My name is Jackie. I am a middle aged single woman living in the South. Actually I guess it is very generous on my part to say I’m middle aged. Unless I expect to live to be 102, which it pains me to say that I don’t, then I’m actually somewhat past middle age. However, I’m thankful for every year and the wrinkles and gray hairs that came along for the ride. I have been single (as in unmarried) for over 20 years. (I know, that in and of itself is worthy of its own separate entry.) In recent years though I have doggedly (No pun intended. I promise that is the first word that popped out. I can’t speak on behalf of my subconscious however.) pursued online dating. It produced adventures and even some relationships that may or may not make it on this site, but suffice it to say I am still very much an unattached individual. The living in the South part is just a birthright and while it definitely impacted decisions and perspective, I wouldn’t want it any other way.
I have always had a love/hate relationship with writing. I love to write. Sometimes the words just flow and everything I want to say just lays itself out perfectly; grammar and spelling not included. But that’s just sometimes. The rest of the ‘times’ the words are jumbled and chaotic and frustration causes me to leave the laptop closed. Nevertheless, this time it is important for me, and important to me, to try again. To put my ‘struggle’ on record. Hopefully not just the struggle, but the progress and the triumphs. And it is scary. This isn’t a private journal. I can’t just record every little thought that comes into my head. I have chosen, for some yet undetermined reason, to bare my heart and soul on a public forum. True, the ‘public’ is limited to the kind friends and family that choose to read it, but it is still emotional exposure.
The thought of a blog is not new to me. In fact, almost every New Year Resolution from the past several years had something about writing in it. I didn’t realize until I went to do this one that I already had started three other blog sites that had never been completely set up. I’m already ahead this time around. Yay! But honestly, this was not a 2016 resolution. In fact on January 1st I was in a new relationship surrounded by family and no thought was given to ill-fated proclamations to eat less, work out more, send birthday cards to people. (That is actually a real honest resolution I have EVERY year, and I fail at it EVERY year. Just ask any of my many family members who have never received one; ever.) But on January 15th I found myself not in a relationship in a rather abrupt manner. So even though I am late with the resolution talk, here I am. Maybe my tardiness will ward off the resolution gremlins that dissolve good intentions.
So in the closing of my first, but cross my fingers not last, entry, let me state the goal. I don’t believe that these are just my struggles only. There is a positive possibility that this sharing process will benefit more than just me. Lofty goal? Maybe. But check in periodically and let’s see how I’m doing.