Showing posts with label Hope. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Hope. Show all posts

How To Clean Your Emotional Closet (4 Things To Clear Out For The New Year)


Are you one of those who use the New Year to re-organize and throw out things you no longer want/use? 

Do you spend hours going through drawers, cabinets, closets in an attempt to keep your life in order? 

Is it your goal to cut down on the clutter and chaos and live a more minimalistic lifestyle? 

If you actually achieve this let me how you did it! I'm terrible at it! 

Did you know there are other 'things' you can get rid of as the New Year dawns that can make your life easier, more productive, and peaceful? Do you need to clean out your emotional closet? Those are things I CAN help you with. Read on!

Trim Your Friend's List

We all want to have friends and make connections. And for some, the number of 'friends' on their social media feels like an indicator of how popular and accepted they are. But that's not always the case. 

It is super easy to hit the "Add" or "Follow" buttons. You do it for people you don't even know, and others do it as well. It is an easy (and mindless) activity to scroll through social media and see the posts, pictures, and comments of everyone on your list. But in reality, how productive or beneficial is that? 

Social media stress  is a real thing. Spending too much time 'invested' in the lives of others can not only be a waste of time but also affect your self-esteem. Most people don't have the perfect life they post about. And whether we realize it or not, we subconsciously compare our lives/stories/families with those on our newsfeed. 

So I said all that to say, why not go through your friend's list and trim it down. Make it truly be friends and family that you desire to connect with. If you don't know them or have outgrown them, unfriend them. It's not a reflection of their value of a person, just who they are in your world. 

And let's go one step further, and examine the 'real-time' friends you hang out with. Have you grown apart with some? Have circumstances or situations caused a rift? The word toxic is thrown around way too much, but sometimes there are just people who bring you down more than lift you up. 

It is ok to limit your time and emotional resources on those who bring tension, hassle or drama into your life. You don't need a huge confrontation. Just quietly distance yourself and stick with those who truly value you. 

Throw Out The Bad Attitudes

Just like you throw out the clothes in your closet that don't fit or are frayed and torn, it's time to throw out those destructive attitudes. 

It is often true that we are our own worse enemies. The things we say to ourselves is usually way more damaging than the things said by others. 

Let's start the new year by throwing out negative self-talk and harmful attitudes. 

Stop saying: I CAN'T. No, you probably can't do everything, No one can. But you are stronger and more resilient than you give yourself credit for. Try it out and see for yourself. 

Stop saying: I'M NOT GOOD ENOUGH. You are not broken. Yes, there may be a few cracks, bruises (or in my case, age spots), but you are worthy of love, joy, and acceptance. Everyone's journey is different, but no one gets out unscathed. Be proud of your scars and the lessons they taught you. 

Don't judge others for what you don't know about them, and don't allow someone to judge you for what they don't know. 

Steer clear of jealousy. If you have a valid reason not to trust someone, then don't trust THEM. Don't punish everyone else in the process. And for those who appear to have it better or easier, be happy for them.  Jealousy is a very bad look. 

Stop playing the victim. It is true that someone may have wronged you. Pick up the pieces and move on. Don't milk it for sympathy or attention. That stunts your emotional growth. And sometimes what we claim as bad luck is simply consequences for mistakes or bad choices. Own both the good and bad decisions and keep moving forward. 

Let Go Of The Past

Nothing clogs up your life's closet like excess emotional baggage. Dig it out and let it go. 

Forgive those who hurt you. What if they don't ask for it? Doesn't matter. It's for YOU and your peace of mind; not theirs. 

Forgive yourself for mistakes. Seriously, I've done so many things the wrong way. But I can't wallow around feeling defeated. We all have to dust ourselves off and move forward. You will never be perfect. But you must always be persistent. 

Move on from people, events, or situations that you can't fix or control. An abusive relationship. A dead-end job. Fear of failure. Make healthy decisions for your future that include self-love, self-care, and plenty of love for those who support and encourage you.  

Change Your Definition Of Happiness

As the world around us spirals frantically in so many directions, we are left to try and keep up. The Most. The Best. The Top. The Biggest. If we just get 'IT', we will be happy. 

Yeah, see, that never works. Because there is always the next thing down the line. 

For this new year, change the way you define happiness. 

Things won't make you happy; experiences will. 

People won't always make you happy; memories will. 

Status won't make you happy; personal accomplishments will. 

A clear mind. A full heart. A calm spirit. THOSE will reshape your view of happiness. 

And Happiness is what I wish for you!

My Hopefuls, I wish for each of you a year filled with love, joy, and especially HOPE. 

I know each day won't look or feel like the best day ever. But each day is a blessing. Each day is an opportunity. And each day offers you the chance to be kind, do good, and make a difference. 

Clean out your emotional closet of anything that weighs you down, stops your creativity, stifles your spirit, or chokes out your love. Keep it open for all the good things this year will bring you!

And, as always......

Hope With Abandon!

Hope Out

www.hopeboulevard.com




Failure To Imagine - How Your Life Can Improve With Awareness, Thoughtfulness And Action

A very interesting phrase resurfaced this week due to the recent events in Washington. This post has ZERO to do with politics, but I did want to capitalize (pun intended) on how these three simple words can transform your life if you open up your mind to the process. 

This phrase has been around for several decades, but maybe the most memorable use was after the attacks of 9/11. One writer suggested that the 'success' of the enemy was not brought about by the breakdown of intelligence or coordination. Both of those things were available in abundance. Our collective downfall as a country was the failure to imagine such evil intentions and the extreme measures our adversaries would take to further their cause.

The phrase ‘failure to imagine’ was used again this week in an attempt to explain away lack of preparedness and a total inability to either read the writing on the wall (of social media) or the choice to ignore it. 


How often do each of us do that in our daily lives? Are we guilty of being short-sighted and rob ourselves of the benefits of taking steps to improve our future selves? An article in Psychology Today talks about the trap some people believe themselves to be in. They live in a small orbit of family, friends, jobs, and can't envision a path forward from good to better.


It offers the idea that true fulfillment requires we need to "first imagine a life that transcends" our current vision. In other words, we need to embrace both short-term goals as well as long-term ones.


Intentional Thoughtfulness


So how do all these lofty words and ideals translate into a better life for YOU?


It starts with intentional thoughtfulness. The ability to make informed choices and take deliberate action without an immediate reward. We live in an instant world. From microwaves to ATM machines, to Amazon Prime 2 day delivery, we have grown accustomed to having what we want (or think we want), right NOW!


And even though NOW is where we live, we should plan and prepare for the many nows that will hopefully come later. Think of it as your life's version of the decades' old candy:


You can (and should) enjoy your life now while still planning for the later. 

Here are a few places to start. 


Imagine A Healthier You



Sure, maybe your blood pressure, glucose levels, and ideal weight are spot on. Congrats!


Don't be fooled into believing that your food and exercise decisions today won't affect your overall health and wellness in the years to come. And you do want years to come.... right? 


Even if you currently struggle with certain medical conditions, it is never too late to try and do better. Try to see past the immediate desire for a double cheeseburger and 'imagine' being around to play with your grandchildren or feeling up to a rousing game of golf or tennis in your retirement. 


And be careful to heed the advice of your doctor. You should not put off taking medications or having preventative tests. Both of these can help you live a longer, healthier life. 


Imagine Happier Relationships



The energy and passion of young love is the subject of many books, poems, and songs. What they fail to accurately represent is the hard work involved in maintaining that love. 

It is all too easy to get caught up in what feels good now and what my needs are today. Being selfish is a common roadblock to a long-term love affair. 

Nurture and commitment are the cornerstones of any successful relationship. Romantic or otherwise. 

Forgiving and also being able to ask for forgiveness in return. The resolve to push through the hard times. The dedication when the fun flat-lines and struggles show up. The understanding that most storms ends with a rainbow and that beautiful symbol of conquering the squall is best shared hand-in-hand and together. 

It is necessary through the difficult times (and even the good ones), to 'imagine' what your relationship will look like in years to come. Envision growing old together. Picture yourselves as the cute old couple that everyone wants to be. 

Then set about the work to make that picture a reality. 

Imagine Financial Security



In these uncertain times, I'm not sure what financial security even looks like. I wrestle every day with debt vs savings vs what to do with my 401K. But I do know this, long range financial security doesn't just happen.


There is a fine line between enjoying your life today and setting aside for a rainy day. I am not an advocate of never reaping the fruits of your labor. It is OK to occasionally buy something that makes you happy, look great, or feel better.


I am a big believer in family vacations and memorable experiences. If you save every penny your entire life and never have a beautiful memory of that life, I'm not sure that is the picture of success.


On the flip side, you should balance what you spend for today's pleasures with saving for those you want tomorrow. That can be easier said than done for some, and I understand that. But even small steps will add up over time.


Cut out unnecessary expenses for certain conveniences or subscriptions. Look for ways to save just a few dollars here and there, and then set aside those dollars for your future. There are apps that will help you invest or if that thought scares you (it does me), simply save them.


The key is to 'imagine' your future as being self-sufficient and independent. That you have the financial freedom to support yourself without working until the very end. Those goals start with wise spending choices today.


Imagine The Fulfillment Of Your Dreams



While all the above are worthwhile and important, this one is probably the nearest to my heart. 

There are more articles, encouragement, and tools available today than ever in the quest for the fulfillment of dreams and goals. The problem for some traces back to the issue above about wanting to see immediate results.


The beginning painter's work will probably not immediately go to a museum. 


The musician's first song will most likely not win a Grammy. 


My first book did not end up on the New York Times Best Seller's List. 


There are rare (and exciting) moments when the novice reaches the pinnacle of the mountain with their original endeavor. However, for most of us, it takes time, work, sweat, and patience. 


But my advice will ALWAYS be to never give up. The goal should not be perfection or recognition. It should be to persist and hone your craft or vision. To be the best version of you. To grow. Learn. Improve. 


And to 'imagine' reaching your goals. To plan and implement the steps involved believing you will succeed. And then measure that success not only on monetary gain or prestige, but personal satisfaction and undeniable accomplishment. 


Imagine Your Potential


My Hopefuls, it is my goal today to encourage each of you to imagine your potential. In all areas of your life. To not settle for just good enough. To not believe this is all there is. To limit yourself to the mundane. 


But to purposefully visualize the life you can have. 


Never let your life or your dreams fall victim to the failure to imagine. The road ahead is full of promise, love, goodness, and HOPE. 


And with that in mind....


Always..


Hope With Abandon


Hope Out


If this article spoke to you, please like and share. 


www.hopeboulevard.com 



 













Facing Down Fear - Hope For The New Year

 

Many people, including myself, experienced a good deal of fear in 2020. 

From riots to Covid to isolation to lockdowns to remote learning and working to natural disasters to one crazy presidential election, there was always something coming around the curve to keep us off-balance. 

In all honesty, though, I've lived with fear much longer than just this past year. In fact, it's hard to remember a time when fear wasn't motivating me in some manner or another. 

It is a bit humbling to admit as someone who proclaims so fervently about HOPE, but it is true just the same. And I DO believe in HOPE. I believe the path forward is paved with it. I also recognize our paving equipment may need some annual maintenance. So here goes. 

What Are We Afraid Of

This is almost impossible to answer because people process and express fear differently. Their life experiences also play a large role. Fear isn't always a bad thing, either. It is a protection mechanism. It helps guide certain decisions. It also motivates to inspire change. 

Some have constant fear regarding financial issues and making ends meet. Others battle illness. The person how has a loved one struggling with addiction fears every unknown phone call. 

Those with mental illness often experience highly irrational fears. And the people who love them often live in fear of THEM. 

The root of fear is feeling out of control. That we are helpless and drifting around on a tiny raft during a raging storm. And the truth is, much of what happens (not all) in our lives is out of our direct control. Life happens, as they say. But our response to those happenings is COMPLETELY within our control. And that's where the key lies in living in fear and overcoming it. 

I've come up with three universal fears and my thoughts on dealing with them. I'm no expert, mind you. I'm on a journey for answers myself. Maybe together we can all find strength. 

Fear Of Judgment

Many people walk around in life boasting, "I don't care what ANYONE thinks of me." "I'll do whatever I want." "Their opinions don't matter." And most of the time those people are lying to themselves. Because whether we admit it or not, we do care what others think. 

If we didn't, half the world wouldn't live their life on social media. They rack up 'likes' and comments and tally them at the end of the day to make sure they are still relevant and pleasing to those around them. 

And the unfortunate events of bullying would be non-existent if we didn't care what people thought. 

It is not a bad thing to wish to be liked and appreciated. It's a sign of community. We need each other. Acceptance is a comforting blanket in a very cold world. The problem comes when we take it too far. 

The bottom line is, not everyone is going to like you (or me). We will be someone's unsweet tea in their corn syrup world. And that's OK. (Although if you know me, you know my tea rivals that of even McDonald's.) My point is, you will be fit into everyone's lifestyle. Nor should you want to. 

The key here is to know and like yourself. Tall order, I know. But once you are cool with yourself, the opinions and judgments of others have less impact on your happiness. 

Take stock of where you are. Improve in the areas YOU think important. Then take a deep breath and march into this world being proud of who you are and what you bring to the table. There are plenty of tables to go around. Don't expect everyone to eat at yours. 

Fear Of Failure

This one strikes home to me more than the first one. I do have a fear of failure. 

As a single mom most of my life, I've looked back and wondered did I fail my children. I wasn't able to provide a traditional, intact home. My marriages failed. 

When I started Hope Boulevard I had such high hope and expectations for reaching and helping people. There have been many days when I have felt I failed at that as well. 

I read an article recently that said you will never reach potential if you are not willing to be embarrassed. I'd never thought about things from that angle. The author suggested that until you completely put yourself out 'there', and risked being embarrassed, boo'ed, or worse, ignored, then you would never truly believe you had given it your all. 

There are dozens of memes and quotes about no risk/no reward. You only fail when you don't try. One foot in front of the other until you make it. Learn from the mistakes. You know, you've read them too. 

And I agree with all of them. The challenge is believing they apply to YOU when YOU are the one dealing with the loss, the setback, the failure. 

You will not be the best at everything you do. The key is to do the best that YOU can do. If you truly do your best, then the result is not failure. It might be disappointing, or not what you envisioned, but never a failure. (Note to self.) 

Fear Of Being Alone

This one really has a two-fold meaning. 

There are those who do fear being alone in the relationship sense. They are compelled to jump from one relationship to another in order to avoid an empty feeling. The result is usually unpleasant and another loss. 

The truth is, that empty feeling is often the result of someone not truly being happy and comfortable with themselves. That void is their own self-acceptance. Since they don't have it, they seek it from someone else. The problem is that piece of the puzzle only fits from within yourself. No one else can give that to you. 

And being in the wrong relationship brings about way more loneliness and strife than being alone. 

But I'd like to shine a small light on another type of being alone. And that is standing up and even alone for what is right. Sometimes that is scary too. 

Just like the fear of judgment and wanting to be liked, some people are afraid to take an unpopular stand, even if they truly believe it right in their heart. They don't want the public ridicule. This is more true today than any other time I have ever known. 

The 'mob' mentality tries to dictate what we should believe, rally behind, endorse. Those with an opposing view are mocked and made to feel inferior or stupid. It is hard to stand alone. 

I am not here to be another to tell you what to believe. It is on you to do be true to your heart and make wise and thoughtful decisions. But once those decisions have been made, hold firm to them. 

Stand up for what you believe to be right. Do so with integrity and a quiet spirit. You don't have to be a bully to get your point across. And you don't have to bow to another bully when you encounter one. 

Facing Down Fear

My Hopefuls, it has been my goal today to help shine a little light on the anxieties and doubts that creep into our hearts and minds. It will happen. Even to those who unwilling to admit it. 

My advice is to learn to control what you can. Take back the reins of your life if you have given them away. Start each day with a fresh dose of grit and encouragement and be the best version of YOU. 

There is only one YOU. Take comfort and delight in that. You should also take comfort in this: 

“So do not fear, for I am with you; do not be dismayed, for I am your God.  I will strengthen you and help you; I will uphold you with my righteous right hand.” ~ Isaiah 41:10

And as always, for this new year and beyond... 

Hope With Abandon

Hope Out

www.hopeboulevard.com 

If this blog spoke to you, please share and help me spread HOPE!




The Journey Of Your Words - Where Are They Taking You?

We are a world of words. They are everywhere. 

24 hour news cycles. 

Endless social media streaming. 

Tik-Tok Fever (Not sure how the sound of a clock became the name of the fastest rising video sharing service.)

We are showered with words, thoughts, ideas, agendas, philosophies, opinions, and viewpoints in an endless cycle. 

So what is the aftermath of all this information? What is the consequence of all those words? 

Life Is A Journey of Words

One of the first sounds most newborns hear is the sweet voice of their mother. This sound (vibration) literally follows them the rest of their life. The longing to hear the sound of your mother's voice never goes away. 

Soon after, the race is on to teach that precious child as many words as possible. 

Children develop their first ideas about the world from their parents. Right or wrong, good or bad. Their consciousness is shaped by the very words overheard at the dinner table, in the car, and even through closed doors in hushed tones. 

A victim mentality, all types of prejudices, intolerance, bias etc - these are not genetic traits. No one is born having those thoughts or reactions. They are learned and/or followed behaviors. (The same holds true for kindness, charity, thoughtfulness, acceptance, etc.)

And they are learned to a great extent through WORDS. 

The good news is that not all children who grow up hearing words of hate grow up to hate. Some do develop the interest and curiosity to expand their view. They widen their circle and set out to discover the words of others and from different opinions. 

I recently read, and re-quoted, a phrase that simply said "you can't change the people around you, but you can change the people you choose to be around". 

The Words You Hear

Words are little seeds looking for a place to be planted, take root, and grow into ideas. 

As mentioned above, a child's mind and heart are extremely fertile ground and those seeds settle quickly and sprout. They really have no choice to control what they hear or what's planted and it can be a long and deliberate process to pluck out the bad. 

Children who were told they weren't good enough, smart enough, attractive enough grow up to believe they are inferior and typically align themselves with partners who reinforce those beliefs. 

Children who grow up in a polarizing and prejudice atmosphere are more likely to carry on those beliefs. 

The words you hear help steer your life's journey. Where have you traveled based on the negativity or affirmation you received? Did you travel down a road towards happiness? Or did you take a detour into self-doubt and get stuck in fear and confusion? 

The good news about the adult brain is that the ground is less fertile and we have more power than we think to control what takes root. 

You are NOT the sum of the WORDS someone says about you. You are not destined to journey towards despair and the bleak. 

Today is the day you can begin to re-write the story of your life. To choose different WORDS to re-shape and re-define the person you want to become. You are not tied to a specific destination. 

Re-set your internal GPS with WORDS of hope and encouragement and joy!

The Words You Say

In the same way that the words of others impact you, your WORDS have the same power over others. 

Every time you speak to someone you have the choice to offer encouragement, wisdom, love - OR you can choose to plant fear, disharmony, strife. 

Not only can words map out your destination, you can lead others as well. You can take them with you to opportunity or mire them down in defeat. 

Oh, but you say, I can't help it. I am who I am. People have to 'deal'. This is only true if you are a robot, which I highly doubt any form of artificial intelligence would take their time to read my blog. 

You DO have the power to change your outlook and your words. 

How do you speak to your partner? Are you affirming? Loving? Encouraging? 

What words do your children hear most out of your mouth? Do they inspire? Teach? Guide? Uplift? 

It is not my intention to hammer away with MY words and make you feel bad. But it is my goal to help you examine the far-reaching vines of your interactions with others. 

We all can do better. 

The Words You Tell Yourself

Sometimes the most damaging words that fall on our ears come out of our own mouth. 

Why do we do this to ourselves? 

Sometimes it's a product of what we have heard others say to us. Other times is it buying into hype on social media about what we should have, be, think, or look like. 

When we fail to measure up to someone else's standard, we often berate and ridicule ourselves. Saying things in the mirror we would never say to anyone else. 

Listen to me.... Your goal is never measured by another's. The benchmarks you set for your career, health, style, relationships, and dreams should be driven by what's in YOUR heart. 

You MUST speak words of acceptance and value and inspiration to yourself even if no one else ever does. 

The Truth  

What I am suggesting is not easy. I don't pretend to say it is. Blocking out any negative you hear. Being mindful of what you say. Becoming your own best friend. The truth is - it will take diligence and purpose. 

Those roots can run deep and the roadway so familiar the thought of anything else is overwhelming. But my dear Hopefuls, I do want you to understand that change IS possible. That good IS around the bend. That you ARE deserving of happiness, peace, and HOPE!

If nothing else, I HOPE these words brought reassurance and comfort to your life today. 

I trust the journey of your words lead you to JOY!

And as always....

Hope With Abandon 

Hope Out

www.hopeboulevard.com 


How To Be - Happy Is As Happy Does – Life Lessons From A Country Song

 

It has been said that most of our life experiences have ended up as a country song.

Being someone who likes country music, I find that statement somewhat true.

Being someone who likes Kenny Chesney, I found his latest song hit right on the mark with how I feel about the world, in general, these days. There have been several songs released in all musical genres to try and capture an artist’s view of today’s events. I have no idea when this song was actually written, but today, my advice for you comes straight from the lyrics of his song.

Don’t Look Too Long In The Rear View

Some find it in the scripture or a Polaroid picture
Or flip a coin, heads, you're goin' to Tucson, Arizona
But it sure ain't in the lookin' back on the stuff you never did
Sometimes you're gonna feel that, but life is better when


Life is better when you don’t look back. Your life now is a product of the decisions you have made so far. The good ones enriched you, and the bad ones educated you. It is a waste of time to dwell on the past. If you have always wanted to do something – go for it. The future is yours to create.

You can find comfort in memories, but that’s not where you live. Make the most of each day you are given. Tomorrow is not promised. Today is a blank page to write your very own life’s best seller.

Don’t Judge Yourself (Or Others) By Their Social Media

Contentment is the cornerstone of happiness. The key to contentment is not being jealous of what other people have or do. Social media is like those distorted mirrors in a funhouse. Things are never really quite how they appear.

Be very careful not to feel envy or resentment for the ‘lucky’ ones. We can all be creative with the little world that everyone else sees on their phone screen.

I am as guilty as everyone else. I post my best side. My greatest victories. The good hair days. Why? I want someone to be impressed. Why? I don’t know! If I’m happy with my side, victories, and hair what difference does it make who else is? And if I’m not happy with it, having someone ‘like’ it, won’t help me one bit.

I am not saying we all need to ditch our social media accounts (although a little less time spent on them each day might help), but I am saying we need to read between the lines (and posts).

Everyone else in the world does not have it all together either. Their children are not all scholars and their spouses are not all Hallmark movie characters. They have struggles, insecurities, and disappointments just like you do.

Be happy with who YOU are and what YOU have and then be happy for the good fortune of others as well.  

Don’t Believe Everything You Hear/Read

Common sense is not very common these days. I did a little research to see if this was a trait that could be taught, or if everyone just got what they got.

Turns out, in some aspects, it can be taught. The definition of common sense is ‘good and sound judgment in practical matters'. Another description was “a form of practical decision-making and the ability to realize the consequences for every action you take.”

It is a combination of experience and applied knowledge. My theory on why so many people today lack in common sense is they were never taught (or made) to learn from their experiences and adapt good decision making skills.

If a child grows up having all their decisions made for them, and never having to experience defeat, a loss, disappointment or the consequence of a bad decision, they will be severely stunted in the common sense department.

Parents have a protective desire to shield their children from pain, but as a society we have gone too far in some areas and many have been raised ill-equipped to handle what life throws at them. Without a solid base of experience and consequences, they enter the world believing whatever is put in front of them.

There is a website/opinion/article/post to support almost every argument out there today.

The trick isn’t finding something to believe it. The trick is finding something that is believable.

My Hopefuls, it doesn’t take long to find something distressing, frustrating, and even scary about today’s world. And even though we need to be mindful and aware, we can’t allow it to defeat us.

Wisdom is required for sure. A solid foundation for your values and causes. A willingness to spread hope, kindness, and truth. And then you can sing along with Kenny…..

Happy is as happy does

Grab a six-string, find a rope swing
Hang a palm tree in your truck
Steal a slow dance in a rainstorm
And a kiss from who you love
Laugh and live with a half-full cup
'Cause, happy is as happy does


And as always…..

Hope With Abandon

Hope Out

 

Are You Looking For Excuses Or Solutions (We Find What We Search For)

Excuses are like pennies you find on the floor. Easy to spot and pretty much anywhere, but not really helpful in the grand scheme of things....