Showing posts with label friends. Show all posts
Showing posts with label friends. Show all posts

The Art Of Small Talk - Help For The Socially Awkward


I'm really writing this for me, but I thought I would bring you along for the ride. 

Whether you are on a first date, a business meeting, a social setting or just a ridiculously long line, knowing the art of small talk is a life-saver. 

I am notoriously bad at it; seriously. I have been known to walk the long way around the parking lot to avoid having to having to walk in with someone and feel obligated to share chit-chat. I know, it's so sad. 

However, instead of continuing to wallow in my defeat, I decided to find better ways to handle this and I am going to share them with you. 

Sometimes it's not just knowing what to say, but how to say it. Everyone has a different communication style, and when small talk is challenging it helps to have some tips in your conversation arsenal. 

Pretend You Are Interested

I know the 'fake it 'til you make it' advice sounds lame, but it just might work. People are drawn to enthusiasm. Keep a go-to question or two in your small talk starter pack. Something light and breezy like a current event, news item, upcoming holiday, weekend plans, etc.

If all else fails, pick something in the room or surroundings to talk about. It is the one thing you both have in common. 

Most people like to talk about themselves, so ask open-ended or opinion questions. Instead of just asking what they do for a living, ask how it's done or why they like it.  Try to stay away from controversial topics. 

Be Interested

The best way to sound interested in a conversation is to BE interested. Pick a topic that already interests you and you will be more engaged in the conversation.
 
Believe in the Best in People

I know for me it is easy to assume someone is going to judge me for my answers or make negative conclusions about me. That's not fair. There are jerks in the world, but most people you meet are just as wary and awkward as you are. You don't have to sound brilliant; just be kind. Everyone wants to put out a good impression. 

And don't stress if you don't remember their name (unless you are on a date; that's a bad sign). That's why they make people wear name tags at events and business gatherings; we are all bad at remembering names. Just ask; it's ok. 

Be Honest/Not Argumentative

If you don't want to talk about a particular subject or answer a specific question, just politely say you would rather talk about something else. Then steer the conversation in that direction. 

If you are asked for your opinion about something you truly dislike, just say, 'That's really not my thing." Or if they express a dislike for something you love, you can come back with, "It takes all kinds." You can disagree without being disagreeable. 

Compliments/Criticisms

We all love to hear something nice about ourselves. Find something about your small talk companion to compliment on. It will brighten their day and they will generally start to talk about whatever you mentioned. 

If someone gives YOU a compliment, simply say thank you. I know for some of you that is difficult. Don't try to convince them they are mistaken. Don't feign pious modesty. Just accept and appreciate the nice gesture. 

Now if they slide in a criticism, refer back to above about not being disagreeable. For the purpose of small talk, if someone casually mentions something that doesn't sit well with you, just let it roll. Offer the non-committal, "You could be right." You can finish the sentence however you want as long as it is under your breath.  

The Getaway

Despite all your best efforts, there will still be times when you just want to escape. Either they are overbearing, getting in your personal space, or you are just emotionally winded. Whatever the reason, just simply excuse yourself with an "I Need" phrase. 

"I need to use the restroom." "I need to get some food/refill my drink." "I need to make a call." "I need to answer this text." (Just look at your phone. They will never know you don't have a text. Your phone is on silent anyway, right?) Your 'need' can fit the location/situation, but very few people are going to question the sincerity of your statement. 

I do suggest if you claim to need to go and/or do something you at least attempt to make good on that statement. I mean, after all, it's the polite thing to do. 

Practice Makes Perfect

My hands started shaking even as I wrote this. I know the best way to get better at something is to continue to do it. I would improve my small talk skills if I put myself in the position of having to do it. 

Can I just say; ugh. 

Seriously though, unless you retire to a deserted island or a cabin in a rock underground, you will need to interact with people. Being an introvert, I understand it can be difficult. It doesn't come easy for some of us. But it is always worthwhile. 

For the times when I truly attempt to make a connection with someone, I almost always enjoy the conversation. I learn something about me or the other person. 
I fancy myself to be a storyteller of sorts, and everyone has a story. Learn how to step out of your comfort zone just long enough to get someone started on telling 
theirs. 

You might just be surprised at how pleasant small talk can actually be. At least that is what I am telling myself...

And as always..

Hope With Abandon

www.hopeboulevard.com 

Galentine's Day - 5 Reasons To Celebrate Your Best Gal Pals


So all of us know what February 14th represents. 

Regardless of how (or if), we celebrate or even acknowledge the day, there is a little red heart on almost every calendar printed in the US. It’s the day set aside to honor and spoil the person who represents love in your life.

And while I have no objection at all to the holiday, this year I am a little more interested in the less well known holiday that falls one day earlier; Feb 13th. 

February 13th is the unofficial, mostly unknown holiday of Galentines Day! And for those unaware of its meaning, it is a day for women to celebrate and honor their gal pals! 

This is a relatively young tradition that has its origin in a TV sitcom. Leslie Knope from the Parks and Recreation show came up with this idea to have a brunch with her closest friends in what she called ‘ladies celebrating ladies’.

I love this idea!!

And if you google it, you will find article after blog post on WHAT to do. So, today, my take is less on what to do, and more on WHY we do it. 

Why our girlfriends are so important to us and how to maintain these friendships is worthy of a little reflection on our part. Let’s take a look at some of the reasons our Gal Pals are so awesome! 

Encouragement - More Support Than Third Love Bras 

You can always count on your girlfriends to uplift and support you. Whether you are riding high after a victory or have crashed and burned in defeat, your true girlfriends will be there all the way. 

Some TV and movies, or even social media, often try to paint us girls as vindictive, jealous an suspicious of each other. Hogwash! Real friends do not ebb and flow with the tide. They are steadfast and ready for whatever comes your way. 





Judgement Free Zone - No Makeup Required


Whether you are meeting the gang for dinner after work or gathering on a Saturday night for pizza and a movie, there are no expectations or requirements





Gal pals relate to the pressures and stresses that we each face on a daily basis, and when we get a break from the chaos, the last thing anyone needs is to worry about impressions or judgments. Come as you are! 

It’s a great feeling!

Image result for quotes gal pals and acceptance

Acceptance - Well Worn Welcome Mat 

True friends have an open door policy for each other. 24/7. 

I have a bad habit of calling my friend Susan on the way to work in the morning at 7:30. Never once has she said, call me back during normal business hours. I know I can count on her. 

Part of relationships is being vulnerable and allowing someone to see the real you. In the dating world, this can often take time and sometimes we are never actually sure where we stand. But with your girlfriends, you know that.

Now, that doesn’t mean they won’t call you out when you act stupid. In fact, there is usually one in every circle of friends who excels at this. And it’s important. We all need accountability. What makes it reassuring is, after the tough love, bonds are strengthened. 

Fun - What Happens in (Fill in the blanks) Stays… 


You can have fun with your guy and even your family, but there is a special kind of fun when the girls get together and cut loose. 

Whether it is a day trip, weekend getaway, or just a monthly happy hour meeting, gathering with the girls is always a blast. There is a freedom in being yourself and knowing you are in the company of like-minded friends. 

If you have never experienced this, I highly recommend it! 

Image result for quotes about gal pals and fun

Good For Your Heart! 

Having a circle of friends is good for your heart on two levels. First, it is just comforting and sweet to belong and connect. To be a part of a tribe who understands and steps in and lifts up. It gives you the warm fuzzies! 

And then… those warm fuzzies can even benefit your real heart! Close personal connections actually help keep us alive longer!!

Thank You For Being A Friend


To all the amazing, fantastic, smart, beautiful, ambitious, strong, independent, loving, funny, dedicated, and loyal GIRLFRIENDS - You Rock!!! 

HAPPY GALENTINE'S DAY!!

And as always...

Hope With Abandon

Hope Out!

Like and Share if you enjoyed this article.

www.hopeboulevard.com

Are You Looking For Excuses Or Solutions (We Find What We Search For)

Excuses are like pennies you find on the floor. Easy to spot and pretty much anywhere, but not really helpful in the grand scheme of things....