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3 Strategies To Help Affair Proof Your Relationship

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Let me say right out of the gate that there is no way to 100% protect your relationship from infidelity. You can do and say all the right things and yet there are still some people who are pre-disposed to being unfaithful. It is a pattern, weakness or character flaw that has shown up in their life history. Why these people enter committed relationships is a mystery, and why others knowingly align themselves with someone like this is even stranger. However, I do believe the majority of affairs start with people who never dreamed they would do such a thing. I am not excusing or condoning it, I am merely stating that for THOSE people, one or more of these strategies might have helped. These strategies are not a pick one and go, but a combination of useful information that if followed will set you up for a happier, closer and more intimate bond with your partner, which I am sure is the goal of everyone who entered in a relationship for the right reasons. So, let’s go. RESP

Living Your Life By CHOICE And Not CHANCE

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Forrest Gump said, “Life is like a box of chocolates. You never know what you are going to get.” Many of us float through life with that voice in our head and blame our current conditions on this simple cute line from a Tom Hanks movie. And as much as I love Tom Hanks, today I would like to suggest this statement isn’t entirely true. While a standard box of chocolates does offer an array and assortment of delicious options, one does not have to blindly bite and hope for the best. The lid, on most, contains a diagram and a description to help you pick! So, there blows THAT theory! All it takes is a moment to read, think and consider and your culinary outcome is determined by CHOICE and not CHANCE! As should be our lives. Now I understand there are many things we have no control over. But I do believe there are times and situations where we can make conscious and informed decisions instead of drifting through life with no rudder or helm. Let’s explore this for a minute.

My Date With Murphy (‘s Law)

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So, I’m not a big believer in ‘signs’. I think things just happen the way they happen. But recently I had a date and the prelude to it was filled with so many missteps and fluke occurrences, it was hard not to feel like Murphy was joining me. By the way, do you know the origin of the phrase Murphy’s Law, which basically states ‘if anything can go wrong, it will’? It started in 1949 at Edwards Air Force Base and named after Captain Edward Murphy who was an engineer working on a project dealing with the body’s response to sudden deceleration. After finding faulty wiring by his technician, he made the statement, “If there is any way to do it wrong, he will find it.” This immediately became known as Murphy’s Law and was even documented in the project paperwork. When the Air Force gave the final report on the project it was said that the good safety record of the project was due to the belief in Murphy’s Law and the necessity to work around it. The key to working around it is being p

Can Self-Love Turn You Into A Narcissist?

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No. That’s the short answer. At least, not in most people. I imagine there may be a case or two where it happened, but while on the surface the two may appear connected, it is actually that surface where the separation begins. And today I want to talk just a few minutes about the differences. I was listening to a radio talk show and the host mentioned that she hated the term and trending philosophy of self-love because the world already had enough narcissists. That piqued my curiosity because I am one of those who encourages a healthy dose of self-love and am ever on a search for it myself. The very definition of narcissism is an abundance of appreciation for oneself, but isn’t that what we are all to strive for? We must love ourselves before we can love, or be loved, by others. So, what are the boundaries? What are the distinctions? The first one is that a narcissist has an unhealthy or excessive interest in themselves. The world revolves around what makes their life eas

Real Talk - The Rise Of Depression & Suicide In Mid-Life Women

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I’m going to start with this right here… Suicide Text Hotline – Text: CONNECT to 741741 Suicide Hotline - Call 1-800-273-8255 (24 Hours A Day) Hello My Hopefuls! This week it was important for me to talk about a topic that has been showing up everywhere recently because of some high-profile victims – Suicide.  Specifically, for this post – Suicide Among Mid-Life Women. This is not my ‘normal’ wheelhouse subject matter, but it has been weighing on my heart, so I wanted to share my thoughts. “Normal” is the pivotal+ word here because that is probably where many of the problems arise. If we could eliminate the need to try and achieve such a mystical obscurity, half of the battle could be won. I was very surprised to learn that suicide among women in midlife has risen steadily every year and is considered one of the top ten leading cause of death in this age range. We devour article after blog after YouTube video on how to look young, eat healthy and exercise, ye

4 Keys To A Relationship – Unlocking Love

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The concept of a lock and key dates back thousands of years tracing its way to Ancient Egypt. The first keys were made of wood and worked by displacing pins held in place by gravity. Keys have obviously changed tremendously over time, but their importance has stayed the same. People utilize keys to keep safe the treasures that are important to them, however, it is worth noting that all keys are not created equal, and therefore, not all ‘treasures’ have the same level of protection. Today I want to explore the amount of protection that you provide for your relationship and what that might say about the importance of it in your life. You can also use this guide to help determine how a potential partner views your place in their life. As with all my analogies, this is not a one-size-fits-all post and every relationship is as unique as the parties involved. These are just some of my random thoughts and ideas. Hotel Key – A hotel key is issued to a guest upon arrival and is good

Happy Single Mother’s Day

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There are countless cards, poems, quotes and memes that pay tribute to the wonders and worries of being a mom. I am not here to re-invent the wheel. I am here to shine a light on the women who sail these oftentimes stormy seas alone, without a first mate – The Single Mom. I have been a single mom since my children were very young, and by single, I mean completely. There were no every other weekends or monthly child support. Do I deserve a prize? Not at all. I used poor judgment and decision making skills and my children paid the price. I often regret the circumstances surrounding their childhood. There is plenty of blame to go around, but I bear some of the responsibility. I really never knew any other way and looking back, I am extremely thankful for the lessons. I had a great support system and that was my saving grace. My parents had my back from day one until their last day on earth. As a grandmother today, helping with my own grandson, there are times when I shake my h

Distractions – What Are You Afraid Of

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Today’s blog is an open letter to myself. In recent weeks I have struggled with distractions. Work, family and even situations created by my own hands. For the most part, they were minor to medium challenges that involved my time and attention to correct and work through. The thing about time, though, is that it does not flow from an eternal source. We have limited hours in a day, days in a week and so on. Our very lifespan is hemmed in by factors mostly out of our control or knowledge. We are all encouraged to make each moment count and count the moments so our goals can be realized. So how do we minimize the distractions? Or are they distractions at all? Could we (I) be subconsciously disrupting momentum driven by fear? Fear of what? What are we (I) so afraid of? Fear Of Success – I honestly had never even heard of this until recently and would not have considered it a legitimate possibility, however, I was listening to a radio talk show when a woman called in with an idea

3 Ways To Re-Charge Your Life (Emotional Spring Training)

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Most baseball enthusiasts look forward all winter for the beginning of Spring Training. It’s the time when new players compete for teams and positions and returning players practice and hone their skills prior to the season opener. There are exhibition games to work out the kinks and roster and it is a good warm-up before the regular season begins. In life, we technically do not get a warm-up period. Every day is the regular season. But today I would like to use the concept of Spring Training as a way to reboot some areas in our life. To work on skills that will benefit and help us succeed. To practice ways to throw off the negative and embrace the positive. I want us to have an Emotional Spring Training. Let’s get started. #1. Train Your Heart To Forgive – It doesn’t take long in this world to learn we all make mistakes. As humans we make wrong decisions, hurt the feelings of others or act recklessly. Most of the time it is not intentional, but it happens nonetheless. In on

Guard Your Goat - 3 Ways To Protect Your Inner Peace

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I grew up on a farm, but my dad did not raise goats or horses, so even though I have heard the expression “Don’t Let Them Get Your Goat”, I did not know where it originated. I did know what it meant in life terms however. Getting someone’s goat is to steal their peace, attack their wellbeing and throw off their emotional balance. Most often it is an intentional act meant to cause distress, annoyance and anger. I guess the main impulse could be revenge or spite, but I am sure there are multiple motivations. This phrase dates back to the early days of horse racing in England in the 19 th century. Apparently, horses, especially thoroughbreds, are high-strung and nervous animals. In a time before comfort animals was a ‘thing’, those horse trainers discovered that goats were the ultimate calming agent for a horse. Horses are herd animals and need company to feel safe. The goat is perfect for this job as they have zero predator drive, are highly social, adapt well to their surroundin