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Relationship Advice From Termites - Lose Your Wings

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While working on a blog article for a pest control company I came across a tidbit of information that I thought was quite interesting. Never one to keep such pearls of wisdom to myself, I decided to share it with you. If you want to know a secret to a long-lasting marriage, look no further than wood chomping insect hopefully NOT hiding out in your walls. The Mating Ritual Termites live in colonies that are led by a king and queen. (That in and of itself is noteworthy, and will be expanded on later.) When a colony exceeds its size threshold and it is time for new colonies to be formed, termites start their ‘swarming' season. Termites are born with wings. During the swarming season, they fly around looking for a mate. When the love ‘bug’ bites and they choose their termite spouse, they then go set up house in a tasty wood bungalow alone. And get this, as soon as they enter, their wings fall off at the door. What?? And why, may you ask, does that happen? Because the new termite uni

Are We Still Really The Land Of The Free And The Home Of The Brave?

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In 2020, I'm not so sure anymore.  I love America. I'm not particularly political, but I am all in patriotic. And I'm not ashamed of being that way. But I am, at this point and time, pretty confused.  I'm no expert, but it feels as if America has been sucker-punched. And I'm not a conspiracy theorist or suspicious by nature. I just believe we are starting to lose our way.  For starters, for living in the land of the free, almost everyone is afraid. And living in fear is not living in freedom.  Some people are afraid to go anywhere without wearing a mask.  Others don't want to wear masks, but are afraid of being told they are selfish if they don't.  Black people are afraid of being a victim of racism.  Almost everyone else is afraid to say or do anything that might be thought of as racism.  Peaceful protestors are afraid of being harassed by bad police.  Good police officers are afraid of being targeted and attacked by violent protestors.  Many people are afr

Both Of Their Lives Matter To Me - How We Forgot The Golden Rule

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Meet my two beautiful grandsons. I am very blessed to be their MeMe.  And I can promise you that both of their lives matter a great deal to me.  As you can tell, my older grandson is white and my younger one is bi-racial.  I have watched the events of the last several weeks unfold with confusion and a little bit of a broken heart. These are my thoughts, for whatever they may be worth to anyone. But I hope one day, they will be worth a lot to my grandsons.  I may not have everything right, but my heart's in the right place.  I am 55 years old and spent much of my life in the south in a predominantly black county. It is the county that my parents grew up in and where I raised my two daughters. There may have been some racial tension, but I honestly don't remember much.  When my daughters started elementary school, one was the only white girl in her class, and the other was the only white child in her class. And I can tell you that racism isn't a trait someone is born with. Be

What I Discovered About Being A Mom

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It's hard. Sometimes being a mom is hard. There I said it. Is it worth it? A resounding YES! But make no mistake there will be days that test your sanity, exhaust your patience, and don't even get me started about your bank account. Don't get me wrong. I'm not complaining. Not by a long shot. The best thing I ever did was to raise my two daughters. It's my one single greatest accomplishment. And along the way, I learned some valuable lessons, at least for me. I'd like to share them with you. No Two Children Are The Same If you have more than one child it doesn't take long to realize that even though they all may have your DNA, they do not present the same way.  And that's a good thing because you don't need clones running around. You want variety, a potpourri of personality if you will. The key is to discover that each child may need different things from you.  The sensitive child may need more understanding. The hard-headed one

Embrace The Setback (How To Handle Failure)

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I may be preaching to a choir of one today (myself), but if that’s the case; so be it. This past week I encountered a series of setbacks. Nothing profound or catastrophic, just some projects I have been working on and for the life of me I can’t seem to get them right or completed. I’ve questioned my competence and even my will to continue. I considered (briefly) giving up, but being the stubborn and hardheaded type, I decided to press on. As of this writing I still have not successfully accomplished my goals, but I did want to pass along some insights I’ve uncovered in the process. First of all, I have decided that it is ok to embrace the discouragement. In a weird twist of blog confirmation, as I was watching my DVR’d latest episode of This Is Us; teenage Kevin so eloquently declared, “Sometimes you just want to feel bummed.” We are consistently bombarded with messages of positivity and told to resist and rebuke the negative. I am offering the suggestion that maybe, for a r

Overwhelmed? Discouraged? Anxious? Listen To Your Inside Voice

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Do you ever feel overwhelmed and anxious? Don’t be ashamed to admit it, I know I am at times. The world around us can be maddening. And loud. Every day there are chores, responsibilities and a seemingly endless onslaught of bad news and images on our TVs and phones. We race from home to work, to appointment, to school, to our kid’s school, back to work, don’t forget the grocery store, and then home again where laundry, bills and dogs to be walked await us before we fall into an exhausted haze that we convince ourselves is a restful sleep. Does any of this sound familiar? Maybe we don’t all experience these things every day, but many of us truly know the feeling of being overwhelmed; like there are not enough hours in the day or energy in the emotional tank to handle what life throws at us. What are we to do then? What choices and options can we embrace to aid in feeling less overwhelmed in our lives? My Hopefuls, the one I recommend today is actually found within each and every one

How COVID-19 Is Changing The Way We Grieve And Say Good-Bye

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Losing a loved one is an enviable part of life. Sometimes it is an unexpected loss that shatters our world. Other times, it is an ending we see coming. No matter the circumstances, or how prepared you think you are, it still rocks us to our core. There is no standard or 'normal' way to grieve. Everyone has to accept and deal with their loss in their own way and timing. However, as a society, we have developed rituals and traditions to help us cope through the grieving process. COVID-19 has destroyed, or at least significantly, delayed most of those traditions. When You Can't Be There To Say Good-Bye One of the most fearful and distressing thoughts is to die alone. That is why people move heaven and earth to be by their loved one's side at the end. Holding a hand. Saying a prayer. A sweet whisper. All of those things help both the one passing and the one left.  The one tragedy from this virus that is not being openly addressed is the inability for loved ones

How Your Relationship Can Survive COVID-19

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When most people first start dating all they can talk about is how much they wish they could spend more time together. All their time together. Day and night. Just to stare into each other's eyes and finish each other's sentences. For some of you, that has now become a reality. At least the 'spend all your time together'. Unfortunately, with the stress and uncertainty of what is happening outside your door, those stares can sometimes become glares. And sentences are cut off with angry words instead of lovingly finished. In a weird trait of human nature, one which we should be able to control better, we tend to take out our anxiety and fear on those closest to us. I see the 'logic' in that. We feel safe to be ourselves, and right now 'ourselves' are a mess. But not only is that unfair to your partner, but it is also extremely damaging to the relationship, which hopefully you have every intention of continuing when life gets back on track. So to

Social Distancing Does Not Mean Emotional Distancing - Don't Stop Being Kind

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I hesitated to write another article about the C-Virus and the trickle-down effect it is having everywhere. I am pretty much over the constant bombardment of social media posts and countless news reports mostly designed to either vent frustration or create more. I'm not even sure where I fall on the believers vs non-believers. I know it's not a scam, but there are scammers who will play into the fear. I'm not a doctor or a scientist, so I have no credibility to speak to this virus vs the flu and goodness knows if you look on the internet enough times you will find information to support whatever theory you want to promote. But this is what I do know. There is a lot of fear and anxiety. Now you can blame social media, you can blame politics, or you can blame a 24-hour news cycle that regurgitates both facts and opinions at an alarming speed. Honestly, at this point, I'm not sure it matters where it started, the fact is people are afraid. The unknown is the bi

Hope For Nashville - What The Rest Of Us Can Learn About Being Community Strong

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In the early morning hours of Tuesday, March 3rd, a series of devastating tornadoes raced through four counties in Tennessee leaving death, chaos, and shredded homes in their wake. Nashville, the Music City, was it the path of one of those tornadoes and while the winds may have been intent on tearing the city apart, it turns out the opposite of that is true. I love Nashville. I have visited there with the last time being just a few weeks back. Loving country music and being from the south probably influences my opinion, but there is a vibe throughout the city that speaks to community, potential, dreams, and pride. (Of course, let's not forget the endless musical talent and love of the party!) As I watched the news with a crushing feeling of sadness, I also started to notice glimpses of HOPE. And since HOPE is literally my middle name and the basis for my life's platform, I thought it only fitting to share what I see is Hope For Nashville. (And the rest of us if we pay a