Posts

My Therapist Dumped Me ("It's Not Me, It's You")

Image
So my therapist dumped me. Is that even a thing? Don't they have to take some Hippocratic oath to never give up on a patient? Talk about a hit on someone's self-esteem! If my therapist can't deal with me, what does that say about everyone else in my life?  Just to be clear, I'm fine. I mean, yes, it stung a little. It was out of the blue and I wasn't expecting it. We were about halfway into our last appointment when she just said she didn't think this was working. I was caught off guard and not exactly sure what to say. What DO you say when someone wants to break up with you?  First, let me just say it is humbling to even admit I was seeing a therapist. And honestly, it shouldn't be. But I come from a long line of stubborn, independent, and self-sufficient survivors. The thought always ran through my head that a strong will, squared shoulders and a can-do attitude will get you through anything. (That and a daily dose of Jesus.) But sometimes you just need a

Cancel Culture - Have We Cancelled Our Brains? (Don't Water Down The Sweet Tea)

Image
I've reached the old and cranky stage of life, so when I started to hear the term 'cancel culture', I wasn't even sure what it meant or if I even cared what it meant. Maybe it was the name of a new boy band, restaurant, or worse, another flash-in-the-pan political stunt to further divide the country.  Turns out, the latter is pretty close to the truth. Only it appears to be gaining momentum instead of losing it, and while there are political laces running through it, I think it's more about pushing limits than an actual agenda or platform. So I decided to crawl out of my self-imposed Covid/Introverted cocoon to take a deeper, and hopefully, more objective look at this social experiment that has gone terribly off the rails. To find what good may have been intended and to root out the useless and damaging elements that have come to define the cause.  So, you ask, what is Cancel Culture? Are we living in a 'cancel culture'? Or are we 'cancelling culture'

Failure To Imagine - How Your Life Can Improve With Awareness, Thoughtfulness And Action

Image
A very interesting phrase resurfaced this week due to the recent events in Washington. This post has ZERO to do with politics, but I did want to capitalize (pun intended) on how these three simple words can transform your life if you open up your mind to the process.  This phrase has been around for several decades, but maybe the most memorable use was after the attacks of 9/11. One writer suggested that the 'success' of the enemy was not brought about by the breakdown of intelligence or coordination. Both of those things were available in abundance. Our collective downfall as a country was the failure to imagine such evil intentions and the extreme measures our adversaries would take to further their cause. The phrase ‘failure to imagine’ was used again this week in an attempt to explain away lack of preparedness and a total inability to either read the writing on the wall (of social media) or the choice to ignore it.  How often do each of us do that in our daily lives? Are we

Facing Down Fear - Hope For The New Year

Image
  Many people, including myself, experienced a good deal of fear in 2020.  From riots to Covid to isolation to lockdowns to remote learning and working to natural disasters to one crazy presidential election, there was always something coming around the curve to keep us off-balance.  In all honesty, though, I've lived with fear much longer than just this past year. In fact, it's hard to remember a time when fear wasn't motivating me in some manner or another.  It is a bit humbling to admit as someone who proclaims so fervently about HOPE, but it is true just the same. And I DO believe in HOPE. I believe the path forward is paved with it. I also recognize our paving equipment may need some annual maintenance. So here goes.  What Are We Afraid Of This is almost impossible to answer because people process and express fear differently. Their life experiences also play a large role. Fear isn't always a bad thing, either. It is a protection mechanism. It helps guide certain d

So Apparently I Have Social Anxiety - Now What?

Image
So apparently I have social anxiety. Which was a bit of a surprise to me actually. Because I genuinely like people. Not that those with social anxiety don't, but again, I was pretty inaccurate about my understanding of the condition.  I have sung an original song on the piano in church. (Many, many years ago mind you.) But someone with social anxiety wouldn't do that, right?  I have taught classes. (Same concept).  I have spoken in front of people at book signings. (Not that many of these either.) But, again, that doesn't sound like social anxiety.  Yet my therapist told me this week she thinks I have it.  Ok, yes. I have a therapist. That's not exactly something I want to shout from the rooftops, and yet still here I am shouting it from my Chromebook. Why? Because it's OK to not be OK sometimes.  A fresh perspective is good. Meaningful insight. A nurse practitioner for the mind/emotions so to say.  Anyway, I got off topic. If you are surprised or disappointed that

How To Embrace Change

Image
We are creatures of habits - even the bad ones.  We want our coffee fixed the right way, no detours, our favorite jeans to always fit, the same parking spot at work, or pew in church. (I've never seen someone lose their religion quicker than when their seat is taken by someone else.) And don't get me started when there is no Duke's mayo on the grocery store shelf.  We don't like it when something or someone comes along and disrupts our carefully planned life. Yet it happens ALL the time.  Change is quite ironically the one constant in life.  Seasons change. Nature transforms. People come and go in our lives. Even the time changes. (Although the sun and moon don't actually do anything different, as humans we just like to try and control things.)  And that's the root of the problem. We think if we try hard enough, we can stop the change.  The key is not to stop it, but to learn to embrace it. (On a side note, did you realize that CHANGE and CHANCE or only separate

The Journey Of Your Words - Where Are They Taking You?

Image
We are a world of words. They are everywhere.  24 hour news cycles.  Endless social media streaming.  Tik-Tok Fever (Not sure how the sound of a clock became the name of the fastest rising video sharing service.) We are showered with words, thoughts, ideas, agendas, philosophies, opinions, and viewpoints in an endless cycle.  So what is the aftermath of all this information? What is the consequence of all those words?  Life Is A Journey of Words One of the first sounds most newborns hear is the sweet voice of their mother. This sound (vibration) literally follows them the rest of their life. The longing to hear the sound of your mother's voice never goes away.  Soon after, the race is on to teach that precious child as many words as possible.  Children develop their first ideas about the world from their parents. Right or wrong, good or bad. Their consciousness is shaped by the very words overheard at the dinner table, in the car, and even through closed doors in hushed tones.  A v

Clothing Required - And Other Remote Learning Tips For Parents

Image
Ok, I admit my experience with remote learning is limited to three days with my 9-year-old grandson. So I don't claim to be an expert.  I do claim to have been highly frustrated with the process.   It is my humble opinion that remote learning does a great disservice for younger (elementary age) children. They are not mature enough to understand or deal with this situation and so many are falling through the cracks.  Many school systems were ill-prepared, if at all, and there is way too much responsibility put on the parent and the child to perform the duties of the education system.  Now that I have said my peace, let me step down from my soapbox and offer some practical advice for those parents (and grandparents) who still wade in these waters every day to help their children learn.  1. Wear Clothes Now I did not personally have this problem, but I have heard the stories. Zoom classrooms use cameras. Cameras see things. And in the case of parents who forget this tiny detail, Johnn

How To Be - Happy Is As Happy Does – Life Lessons From A Country Song

Image
  It has been said that most of our life experiences have ended up as a country song. Being someone who likes country music, I find that statement somewhat true. Being someone who likes Kenny Chesney, I found his latest song hit right on the mark with how I feel about the world, in general, these days. There have been several songs released in all musical genres to try and capture an artist’s view of today’s events. I have no idea when this song was actually written, but today, my advice for you comes straight from the lyrics of his song. Don’t Look Too Long In The Rear View Some find it in the scripture or a Polaroid picture Or flip a coin, heads, you're goin' to Tucson, Arizona But it sure ain't in the lookin' back on the stuff you never did Sometimes you're gonna feel that, but life is better when Life is better when you don’t look back. Your life now is a product of the decisions you have made so far. The good ones enriched you, and the bad ones edu