The 12 Days Of SINGLE Christmas

On the First Day of Single Christmas, my holiday elf gave to me: A smile and a twinkle in my eye. (Because, single or not, I’m happy with myself and loving life.)

On the Second Day of Single Christmas, my holiday elf gave to me: Two Match.com dates. (One was late, didn’t look like his picture and ‘forgot’ his wallet, and the other didn’t show up at all) and a smile and a twinkle in my eye.

On the Third Day of Single Christmas, my holiday elf gave to me: Three Hallmark Christmas movies. (Have I ever told you that I am one of only five people in the entire world that doesn’t watch Hallmark Christmas movies?) Two Match.com dates and a smile and a twinkle in my eye.


On the Fourth Day of Single Christmas, my holiday elf gave to me: Four Christmas Carols. (He limited it to just four this year, because all the rest are used in commercials that play 24/7.) Three Hallmark Christmas movies, two Match.com dates and a smile and a twinkle in my eye.

On the Fifth Day of Single Christmas, my holiday elf gave to me: Five Gold-en Rings. (Because it’s looking like that may be the only way I get one, and my elf was feeling generous that day.) Four Christmas Carols, three Hallmark Christmas movies, two Match.com dates (the first guy texted me to say he found his wallet and asked if I wanted another date….No Sir, I don’t), and a smile and a twinkle in my eye.

On the Sixth Day of Single Christmas, my holiday elf gave to me: A six pack of Sun-Kist (My wish list said to be kissed at sunset, but apparently my elf was having trouble reading that day.) Five Gold-en Ring. (You know, you say those three words slower, like in the song, even as you are reading.) Four Christmas Carols, three Hallmark Christmas movies, two Match.com dates, and a smile and a twinkle in my eye.

On the Seventh Day of Single Christmas, my holiday elf gave to me: Seven holiday parties (I only went to two, but a girl needs options), a six pack of Sun-Kist – Five Gold-en Rings. Four Christmas Carols, three Hallmark Christmas movies, two Match.com dates, and a smile and a twinkle in my eye.


On the Eighth Day of Single Christmas, my holiday elf gave to me: Eight pairs of socks (It’s not romantic, but neither are cold feet. Have you ever been startled from your sleep by a frozen hallux? That’s just a fancy name for a big toe, people.) Seven holiday parties, a six pack of Sun-Kist – Five Gold-en Rings. Four Christmas Carols, three Hallmark Christmas movies, two Match.com dates, and a smile and a twinkle in my eye.

On the Ninth Day of Single Christmas, my holiday elf gave to me: Nine Christmas Candles. (He got me the battery-operated ones this year. Last year he got me the regular ones and I feel asleep while watching one of those repeat Hallmark Christmas movies with one of those Match.com dates and almost torched the place.) Eight pairs of sock, seven holiday parties, a six pack of Sun-Kist – Five Gold-en Rings. Four Christmas Carols, three Hallmark Christmas movies, two Match.com dates, and a smile and a twinkle in my eye.

On the Tenth Day of Single Christmas, my holiday elf gave to me: Ten - Reasons to give my family while I’m still single. (I’m holding out for Owen Wilson… I want to continue to drink straight from the milk carton… I am too busy folding those eight new pair of socks… You know, important reasons like that.) Nine Christmas Candles, eight pairs of socks, seven holiday parties, a six pack of Sun-Kist – Five Gold-en Rings. Four Christmas Carols, three Hallmark Christmas movies (he threw in a new one for good measure), two Match.com dates, and a smile and a twinkle in my eye.  

On the Eleventh Day of Single Christmas, my holiday elf gave to me: Eleven Christmas Cards. (These are to put on my mantel so when people come over, it actually looks like I have a life. I’ve told him not to bother, that no one sends Christmas Cards anymore, but he points out that my negative attitude is starting to get on his nerves. It takes a lot to tick off a Christmas elf.) Ten reasons for why I’m still single (My elf has a few ideas of his own.) Nine Christmas Candles, eight pairs of socks, seven holiday parties, a six pack of Sun-Kist – Five Gold-en Rings. Four Christmas Carols, three Hallmark Christmas movies, two Match.com dates, and a smile and a twinkle in my eye.

One the Twelfth Day of Single Christmas, my holiday elf gave to me: Twelve Christmas Cookies. (My elf said I needed something sweet going on in my life, and he is going to help me join Weight Watches for the New Year). Eleven Christmas Cards, ten reasons for while I’m still single (eating twelve cookies at one sitting doesn’t help), nine Christmas Candles (the batteries died already), eight pairs of socks (actually, I’ve lost three socks in the dryer, so I now have five pairs of socks and three singles, like me), seven holiday parties, a six pack of Sun-Kist – Five Gold-en Rings. Four Christmas Carols, three Hallmark Christmas movies, two Match.com dates (The no-show actually had the nerve to send me an email wishing me a Merry Christmas)… And most important of all……. 

A Smile And A Twinkle In My Eye!!!


My Hopefuls, I put this together as a light-hearted look at being a SIM (Single In Mid-Life) during the holidays, but I do know that it can also be a little lonely at times. My wish for each of you is to share in the joy of the season with your family and friends and truly believe in your worth and beauty. There are movies, songs and parties that can highlight our single status, but there are countless other ways to embrace and enjoy the holidays. Always remember the Reason For The Season and reach out to those less fortunate. Make the most of each day during this holiday and may you also have a smile and a twinkle in your eye!

Merry Christmas Everyone!

*LIKE* and *SHARE* if you enjoyed!!

Hope With Abandon!


Hope Out!

Christmas Angels (How To Cope With Grief During The Holidays)


The holiday season is filled to the rim with good cheer, music, parties, laughter, traditions, lights and great food; yet there are still those of us who experience an overwhelming sadness in the midst of all the Christmas joy. For anyone who has lost a loved one, grief creeps in and threatens to dull the season’s sparkle. It might be a recent event, or even years ago, but there is still a void and the sheer fullness of the holiday can often highlight their absence. Maybe you miss sharing a special tradition, like driving around to see the holiday lights, baking cookies or opening just one present on Christmas eve. Perhaps they had a specific Christmas ‘job’ they did so well; like placing the star on the top of the tree or making their one-of-a-kind orange spice cake every year. You wonder if the holidays will ever be the same. Well, in truth, they may not ever be the ‘same’, but with a little time, love and a sprinkle of Christmas spirit, they can become joyful again.

The first thing I would encourage you to realize is that your loved one (and I like to think of them as Christmas Angels, at least during this time of year) would really want you to enjoy the holidays. They would not wish for you to dwell on your sorrow or remove yourself from the festivities. You do not need to feel guilty for finding enjoyment during this time of year, and you should not boycott the cheer in an attempt to prove your love and ongoing sadness. It is obvious you will miss your loved one, but their desire would be for you to feel the love and good will that flows in abundance at Christmas.

So how do you connect the two; the joy of the season and the pain of your loss? What are some real and tangible things you can do to honor your lost loved one and still celebrate the holiday spirit? Let’s look at a few:

Take on one of their holiday traditions as your own. Find their special recipe and make that orange spice cake, even if it doesn’t turn out quite the way they did it. Read the Christmas story by candlelight or say grace before the big meal. Whatever makes you feel closer to your loved one, do that one thing in their place.



Light a candle every night in their honor. If their life was a light in to yours, use this symbol as a reminder.  


Make a donation, in their name, to their favorite charity or volunteer for an organization they believed in.

Buy a unique ornament that represents their spirit or essence and hang it on your tree.
You could also have a special memorial ornament made to celebrate their life.

Gather with family or friends and share stories about past holidays where your loved one did something sweet, funny or memorable. Pull out pictures from your album and display them in Christmas frames.

Put a fresh flower bouquet on the Christmas dinner table in honor of their memory.

Last, by not least, give yourself permission to feel, whatever the ‘feeling’ is. If you are sad, take a moment to just be sad. If you find yourself having fun and being happy, go with that too! It’s ok!

I understand that all of these suggestions will not work for everyone, or for others the pain is still too fresh to consider any. Each person must grieve and then heal at their own pace. However, my dear Hopefuls, it is my desire that you do not let the holidays pass in a blur of mourning. As the carols play on the radio and the scent of fir/pine fills the air, picture your own Christmas Angel looking down on you with love.

Take comfort in the memories and past shared holidays and believe they truly want the brightest and best season for you now! Take the moments to cry, pray and remember, but also take the moments to share, laugh and love. The Christmas season is a beautiful, magical time of year and we should all do our part to celebrate the most wonderous and ultimate Gift of Love.

To all of you, my Hopefuls, I wish a peaceful and love-filled holiday. May God’s peace rest in your hearts if you are missing someone dear this year.

May your Christmas Angel bring warmth and comfort.

Merry Christmas!

Hope With Abandon!

Hope Out!

(If this post touched your heart, or believe it would help someone else, please share.) 


Tips For Enjoying A ‘Single’ Holiday Season (Don’t Be A Self On The Shelf)


Do you ever feel like the adult mixed-up version of Elf On The Shelf? Does it seem like you have been propped up somewhere in the corner where people see you, maybe even watch you, but never truly interact with you? Like everyone talks at you, has expectations and opinions, but then come and go with their lives leaving you alone, waiting and watching from the sidelines? Bah SIM Bug! My Hopefuls, I understand it can be difficult to go through the holiday season alone. Whether you have been single a long time, or just found yourself recently unattached; watching Christmas unfold can heighten your loneliness. From research, many SIMs (Single In Midlife) have a harder time during the Christmas holiday season than even Valentine’s Day. The lights, music, parties; everything just seems a bit more magical and romantic.

I have spent many holiday seasons single and I would like to use this post today to encourage you to embrace your status and embrace all the beautiful and fun times you can still have. I want to share some tips to help get your Self OFF The Shelf and out enjoying the holidays!

Don’t Dwell Too Long On Hallmark Movies. I know, I know, boos all around. Most everyone I talk to just loves Hallmark Christmas movies and I understand I’m in the minority here. I am not suggesting they cannot be watched and enjoyed, but don’t spend all your time curled up on the couch wrapped in your cozy blanket to live vicariously through a movie written to have a fairy tale happy ending. I want you to get out and create your own happy ending; unscripted!

Get Your Party On! When in a relationship, celebrations must be divided into his/her work parties, family get-togethers, social functions. As a SIM, you get to pick whatever event YOU want to attend. Maybe you want to go to a special church service, a local tree lighting, or even a tacky sweater party; or all three and then some! It doesn’t matter, because you do not have to align your schedule or likes with anyone else. You are free to enjoy the festivities on your terms and timetable. If you are reluctant to go alone, enlist another single friend to go with you. I do want to encourage you though, to not let going alone stop you. I understand it can feel intimidating to walk into a venue by yourself and integrate into the gathering, but if there is an activity that you truly want to do, please consider pushing through the discomfort. Once you are there, enjoying the event you will be proud of yourself for not letting your single status slow you down!

Reach Out. Please know there are so many others out there struggling during this time of year. Almost every organization that provides help to individuals need extra hands during the holidays. Volunteer at a shelter, food back or through a church. Visit a local nursing home or senior center and bring treats, or just sit and talk to someone. So many residents there get little or no visits/attention during the holidays. You can make a big difference with just a little bit of your time and heart.

Don't Reach Out To Your Ex. Christmas time brings with it a flood of memories, and as humans, we tend to remember more of the good ones. It can be tempting to call/text your ex just to see how they are doing and wish them a Merry Christmas. In most cases, this is a bad idea. If you are on good terms, or have minor children still involved, obviously you will need to communicate. That’s not what I mean. I’m talking about looking backwards at an unhealthy relationship and feeling a pull to reconnect. Don’t. It is only the sentiment of the season putting those thoughts in your head, and you need to shut them down. If you decided to walk away from an unhealthy partner, or you were discarded and hurt by an insensitive one, there is absolutely no reason to go there. The wounds will just be reopened and no amount of holiday spirit can undo that.

Enjoy Your Family/Friends. It is true, not everyone has a Christmas Card family. Sometimes, part of being alone, is distancing ourselves from unhealthy relationships that can be attached by a DNA thread, but ‘family’ does not always have to be ‘blood’. Choose to spend time and celebrate the season with those that mean the most to you. Travel, if you can, to see them. Reconnect with old friends. Slow down and spend quality time with those around you who have been there for you and understand your value and worth. Surround yourself with love because it comes in many forms and expressions.

Appreciate. You are blessed. I know I am too. We all should use this season to reflect on the blessings and beautiful life that we have been given. Is it perfect? No. Do we still struggle? Yes.  But gratitude and appreciation go a long way to restoring our peace and happiness. Dwelling on what the lost, or how we were hurt, will not have a positive impact. Sometimes bad things just happen and people betray and abandon us. I am truly sorry if that happened to you. However, I also truly believe there is still so much beauty and good in your life and in your heart. That thought is what I am asking you to embrace today, this season and all the coming days moving forward. 


If you were dreading this single holiday season, I hope something within this post helped to lift your spirits and motivate you. Please do not be a Self On The Shelf of your life. Get out there and be the very best version of YOU!

Christmas is a time for giving, loving, sharing, reflecting and most importantly to acknowledge and honor the best gift ever presented to mankind: Love coming down from heaven in human form – The Christ Child.

Have Yourself A Very Merry Single Christmas!

Hope With Abandon!

Hope Out!



(Do you have tips/ideas on being a SIM through the holidays? If so, share them with me! And share this article if it spoke to and encouraged you!) 

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