Showing posts from July, 2019

You Can Do Everything Right And Life Still Hurts Sometimes

We've all heard the expression good; "Bad things happen to good people." We have also seen, and probably experienced, unfortunate or untimely events that cause a little havoc. We expect a certain amount of struggle in this journey called Life, but every once in a while something happens that truly hurts our hearts.  We work so hard, love, give, sacrifice and then out of the blue, someone still chooses to cause pain or leave. No reason. No fault of yours. Just simply no more.  How do we deal when this happens and we don't know why? Family DNA and a bloodline do not guarantee respect, loyalty or even love. Often the deepest wounds are inflicted by a family member.  It could be an ungrateful child who turns their back on parents. Or sibling rivalry gone too far. Maybe a mother or a father was not prepared to be a parent and made serious mistakes.  These are just a few examples of how family can hurt us.  We grow up hearing sermons, li

Hand Up or Hand Out? (Understanding When Help Turns Into Enabling)

I just want to start by saying, this is an issue I deal with on a daily basis. While I strive in my blogs to help others with advice, suggestions and experienced-driven insight, there are some topics that I am as deep in the mire as anyone else. This is one of those topics. It is natural to help and care for those we love. Whether they are family, friends, or partners; we hate to see anyone suffer and often go to great lengths to ease their pain. Unfortunately, if we are not careful, our help can take a turn in the wrong direction and in fact make matters worse. So what is the difference between supporting someone through a struggle and enabling them to continue bad behaviors and choices while you then begin to struggle and suffer? It starts with simple definitions. Helping someone involves assistance with tasks they are truly unable to do for themselves. It also involves providing them with resources to take back control of their own lives. Enabling , on the other ha