I may be preaching to a choir of one today (myself), but if
that’s the case; so be it.
This past week I encountered a series of setbacks. Nothing
profound or catastrophic, just some projects I have been working on and for the
life of me I can’t seem to get them right or completed. I’ve questioned my
competence and even my will to continue. I considered (briefly) giving up, but
being the stubborn and hardheaded type, I decided to press on. As of this
writing I still have not successfully accomplished my goals, but I did want to
pass along some insights I’ve uncovered in the process.
First of all, I have decided that it is ok to embrace the
discouragement. In a weird twist of blog confirmation, as I was watching my
DVR’d latest episode of This Is Us; teenage Kevin so eloquently declared,
“Sometimes you just want to feel bummed.” We are consistently bombarded with
messages of positivity and told to resist and rebuke the negative. I am
offering the suggestion that maybe, for a reason and a season, we should set
our parking brake on that exact spot of disappointment. Soaking up those
feelings often provides the fuel for our next steps. We can’t fully appreciate
the win without a few losses. What immediately follows the crushing weight of
defeat is the sudden appearance of a crossroads. The easy path, of course,
would be to take the short exit to surrender. (Which, I’ve already decided
against, and so should you.) The longer, less traveled, route is one of
perseverance. We must double down on our efforts, research other options, or
even ask for help. The sting and
irritation should be the catalyst to continue to try again, because the victory
after a hard-fought battle is certainly sweeter than a trophy handed out for
just showing up.
Of course, I would prefer that everything I attempted worked
out beautifully the first time. Who wouldn’t? Reality, however, has taught me
this is seldom the case. But it is also in these moments where growth begins,
and growing pains often accompany this process. If you are experiencing
difficulty in a certain area or task in your life; that most likely means you
are trying something new. That’s wonderful! We should all be willing to expand
our boundaries and take on challenges. If it is a new hobby, don’t expect to be
a pro right off the bat. If you are committed to a healthier lifestyle and
making better choices, don’t beat yourself up if you slip every now and then.
Whatever you are working on, keep plugging away even when it’s messy, takes
longer than you thought, or no one is around to cheer you on. Be your own
cheerleader and believe in the personal satisfaction that will come with the
effort.
I have one other interesting tidbit of knowledge about the
word ‘setback’. It is also an architectural
term. It is defined as a recess in
the upper part of a structure to allow light and air to reach the bottom of the
building. It is a process that also lowers the building’s total center of mass,
redistributing the load of gravity so it becomes more stabilized. (A very
well-known example is The Empire State Building.)
My Hopefuls, I do not know what difficulties each of you are
facing, but I am confident that most are experiencing some sort of challenge. I
know all too well the frustration that can materialize when, despite all your
best efforts, things still do not work out the way you want them to. I wish I
had an easy answer or magic wand, but I have neither. What I do have is a
decent understanding of the human will. If we believe what we are working on,
or fighting for, is worth it, we will keep on keeping on. Whether it is an
educational goal, career move, personal accomplishment, or even a relationship
issue, we must press forward. Use the disappointments as leverage. Claim the
setback as motivation. Determine to beat failure at its own game. I am
confident in your abilities to succeed. And one other thing, this process or
challenge is a marathon, not a sprint. Do not fall into thinking there will
always be a quick resolution. Sometimes it happens, but often there is patience
and time required. Put in work required and wait.
As I leave you now to restart my own efforts, I trust you
are renewed in your determination to try again as well. I would love to hear
back on your successes and I will certainly be there for you in the failures.
At the end of day, we are all in this together and we need each other. Do not
let the disappointments in life rob you of joy. We all experience them and we
can all overcome them. Release that parking brake now and plow ahead. And while
you are at it……
Always….
Hope With Abandon
Hope Out!
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