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3 Steps To Thrive In The Now - Be U - Enjoy The Moment

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Life is a series of moments. Usually good ones, with the occasional unfortunate one thrown in to keep us on our toes.  The problem is, we often fail to appreciate the positive ones and often dwell on the bad ones. Or worse, focus on ones that haven't even happened yet and convince ourselves they will be of the negative variety.  We create battles to fight while living in peaceful times.  That is so joy inhibiting and causes a great deal of the stress we all claim daily in our lives.  A conscious effort is needed to break this damaging cycle.  Here are my suggestions on how to help.  Be True To Yourself I've said this before, you are the only you there will ever be.  You may have made mistakes, but you are NOT a mistake.  You may have failed, but you are NOT a failure.  You have a purpose. You deserve joy and love.  You also deserve to be true to the person you believe yourself to be. There will be those who wish to guide us; parents, t

No One Gets Out Alive - How To Make The Most Of Your Life

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I had a someone recently tell me that our friendship was forever and would last until one of us died - That no one got out alive. At first, it seemed like an unusual statement, but as I thought about it, it was actually quite sweet.  Then I carried the thought one step further.  When it comes to this thing called LIFE - none of us get out alive!  We all enter this world with a set number of days. Unfortunately, we are not given that exact number from the start. And everyone's number is different. We all know of someone who has left way too soon.  My point here is not to have anyone stress about the number of their days. There is not much we can do about it anyway. But it is my goal to encourage you to make the most out of the ones you have left! And how do we go about doing that? Let's look at a few things.  Accept Yourself So many of us spend way too much time worrying about what other people think of us. We judge ourselves based on standards

Bracing For Impact - Understanding The Effect You Have On The World

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Millions of people up and down the east coast were glued to The Weather Channel or their local weather app this past week trying to track the unpredictable journey of Hurricane Dorian. As it approached a particular area, all the residents were encouraged to get ready. Board houses. Collect supplies. Evacuate. Then brace for impact. The simple definition of impact is the force (or impression) of one thing to another. In the case of a hurricane, it is destructive winds and rain colliding with people and homes and the underlying effects. Impacts do not have to be destructive, however. In the context of our lives and our personal journey, we have many opportunities for beautiful and long-reaching impacts. Often times even without our knowledge. Let me share a quick true personal story with you. Many (many) years ago, while still in high school, I went out for a bit with a sweet guy named Preston. I can't honestly say I remember every conversation or date in detail, and

What To Do When We Find Ourselves Lost

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There is a popular saying that goes “Difficult roads lead to beautiful destinations.” And there are multiple wise sayings about detours and unexpected journeys. While there is inspiration in these words, the bottom line is this: It is no fun being lost. That scary feeling where nothing around you looks familiar and you have no idea where to turn next. Even if the scenery around you is beautiful, you can’t enjoy it because of the frantic search to find your bearings. This fear is intensified if you are lost at night. Most everything seems worse in the dark. It is one thing to be lost physically, but often in life, we find ourselves emotionally adrift and alone in the dark and not really sure what to do next. I know I have found myself in that situation before. It all begins wonderfully. You have a known starting point and a final destination; which could be a degree, career, marriage, family, personal goal or even retirement. You don’t know all the twist and turns, or wh

You Can Do Everything Right And Life Still Hurts Sometimes

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We've all heard the expression good; "Bad things happen to good people." We have also seen, and probably experienced, unfortunate or untimely events that cause a little havoc. We expect a certain amount of struggle in this journey called Life, but every once in a while something happens that truly hurts our hearts.  We work so hard, love, give, sacrifice and then out of the blue, someone still chooses to cause pain or leave. No reason. No fault of yours. Just simply no more.  How do we deal when this happens and we don't know why? Family DNA and a bloodline do not guarantee respect, loyalty or even love. Often the deepest wounds are inflicted by a family member.  It could be an ungrateful child who turns their back on parents. Or sibling rivalry gone too far. Maybe a mother or a father was not prepared to be a parent and made serious mistakes.  These are just a few examples of how family can hurt us.  We grow up hearing sermons, li

Hand Up or Hand Out? (Understanding When Help Turns Into Enabling)

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I just want to start by saying, this is an issue I deal with on a daily basis. While I strive in my blogs to help others with advice, suggestions and experienced-driven insight, there are some topics that I am as deep in the mire as anyone else. This is one of those topics. It is natural to help and care for those we love. Whether they are family, friends, or partners; we hate to see anyone suffer and often go to great lengths to ease their pain. Unfortunately, if we are not careful, our help can take a turn in the wrong direction and in fact make matters worse. So what is the difference between supporting someone through a struggle and enabling them to continue bad behaviors and choices while you then begin to struggle and suffer? It starts with simple definitions. Helping someone involves assistance with tasks they are truly unable to do for themselves. It also involves providing them with resources to take back control of their own lives. Enabling , on the other ha

The Proper Construction and Framing of a Relationship - The House that Love Builds

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We all know when building a home, that the foundation and framework are the first two vital steps to long-lasting, quality construction. Most of us have witnessed what can happen when shoddy material or fly-by-night contractors throw up a house in record time only to have problems arise in short order. The frame is the skeleton, or bones, if you will, of the entire structure. When done right, it holds everything together. If short cuts are made, or inferior materials used, it will soon start to fail. Building strong dating/marriage relationships is very similar to constructing a house . We can follow basic house framing techniques to help build a partnership that will stand the test of time and trials. Let ’ s take a quick look at some of the similarities . The Foundation The most basic place to start is the foundation. Perfectly framed walls will have nowhere to stand without a foundation to attach to. The foundation for a home is usually made of concrete, stone o