Posts

How Snapchat Changed Dating

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I have been at this dating thing for quite a while now. When I took my first dip into online dating, it was still very new and even considered taboo. I wouldn’t call myself a pioneer, but when I started, flip phones were still popular and I had never even heard of the word ‘app’. And Snapchat had not been invented. We didn’t even really text much back then. We emailed then talked on the phone and then we met. It was a fairly simple process. Now, don’t get me wrong. Dating has always been challenging. It’s never easy to find just the right spark and match and s omeone with the same set of quirks, or accepting of others . But back then, g etting from point A (a profile) to point B (an actual live in-person date) was straight forward. That is not the case anymore. I could blame my age. I could blame the MeToo movement. I could blame my shrinking patience and expanding waistline. But I blame Snapchat. Snapchat was the brainchild of some restless gu

3 Keys To Not Sink Your Ship - The VASA Syndrome

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The VASA is a Swedish warship from 1628 that sank 1400 yards into its maiden voyage killing 30 of the crew. The ship was ordered to be built by reigning King of Sweden; Gustavus Adolphus. During the 17th century, Sweden was growing in world prominence partly due to their military dominance led by King Adolphus. Up until that point, most of the naval fleets were small to medium size vessels with only one gundeck and armed with medium size cannons. The king’s vision was to create a more massive ship with a double gundeck and more/larger cannons and artillery. That goal, in and of itself, was not a bad idea. He saw a problem and worked out what he thought was an outstanding solution. The problem was in the execution of the plan, and that is where we get into trouble in our own lives. The king took shortcuts, didn’t listen to wise advice and let his pride overtake his sensibilities. The result was disastrous, and oftentimes we are guilty of those same mistakes. As we travel th

How to Handle Bad News (Bombshells and Eggshells)

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We don’t have to journey very far down life’s highway before we encounter some roadblocks. Often this means dealing with bad or disappointing news. Bombshells are usually dropped when we least expect them and feel the least capable of handling them. It can be a text, phone call or the dreaded knock on the door. Maybe you lost your job, had someone end a relationship, got a bad medical report, or one of your kids got in trouble. It could be a rejection (or several) in pursuit of a dream or goal. We have little choices when it comes to receiving bad news, but we certainly have choices in how we deal with it. Here are some of my suggestions. Breathe Not everyone has a full-on panic attack when bad things happen, but most of us do have a physical reaction. We feel anxious, sad, and maybe even all alone. Fear shows up almost immediately. Take a few minutes to just breathe. Shut out the rest of the world, even the current news, and focus on clearing your mind. Deep breathin

5 Signs You Are The Backup Plan

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In many instances, having a backup plan is a good thing. Extra batteries for toys or alarms. Jumper cables in the trunk. A sweater and umbrella in the car. Cash in the sock drawer. More than one option for dinner/movie/music if your first choice is too crowded or sold out. But NO ONE wants to BE the backup plan in someone else’s love life. Most of us have been there. We meet someone and really like them, and at first, we think the feeling is mutual. Then the relationship starts to feel a little lopsided or even unfair and we begin to question if we are over-reacting or if something else is going on. Have we slid into the backup position? How can we tell? And what should we do? The last question is the easiest to answer. Never, should anyone, allow themselves to be the backup plan. Everyone has the right to determine what type of relationship is good for them, and if someone doesn’t want to be with you or doesn’t return the same affections/intentions, that's just the way

Can You Love Too Much - When Love Becomes Smothering

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Can you ever have too much of a good thing? The answer to that  is..  Yes.    Sunlight is vital to our very existence. Yet too much of it will fry us to a crisp. Water is an essential component, but too much of that and we drown.    Exercise builds muscle and endurance. Excessive exercise will also break down the body.    Food keeps our bodies nourished, but overindulging is just as dangerous as starving ourselves.    It is proven over and again that excess of just about anything can be harmful.    So  what about love?? Can you have too much love? Or can you, in turn, love someone too much? Here are my thoughts.    Love, when presented in its purest form  -  that  another’s needs and happiness come first, then no, you really can’t love someone too much. You can never wish too much joy or fulfillment onto another human being.   But, when you cross-pollinate that pure love with the more realistic and flawed emotion that some of us possess