POFA - Hello. My name is Hope and I’m addicted to Online Dating
I was doing so well. My resolve was solid. This time was going to be different. Then we had to go and have a stinking snow day. I got up, washed three loads of laundry, cleaned the kitchen and the bathroom, checked Facebook and my email a dozen times. It was only 10am. *Sigh* Then that pesky little voice in my head started whispering…..You can handle it…. Only a simple little profile…. Everyone else is doing it…. You can stop anytime you want….Just see who is out there…. STOP THE MADNESS!
It’s like a drug. Seriously. I don’t want to do it. And yet I DO want to do it. Maybe if this blog thing doesn’t work out for me I can start my own Plenty of Fish Anonymous; (POFA). J (For those of you who may be wondering, Plenty of Fish is a free online dating site. I have used it off and on for, well, let’s just say a while.) I googled to see if there was such a thing as Online Dating Anonymous. (I know, that’s really, really sad.) Turns out there isn’t. There are sites to tell you how to online date anonymously, but that was the extent of the help. It would appear that I am the only person on the planet with this problem. I did, however, discover there are plenty of other conditions that apparently need a 12 step program. Seriously, these are real organizations. Well, if you consider having a website a real organization.
- Co-Dependents Anonymous. Hmmm. No Comment.
- Over-Eaters Anonymous. Hmmm. Again. No Comment.
- Gamblers Anonymous. Wonder how many people joined last week when they didn’t win 1.6 billion dollars.
- Liars Anonymous. Wonder if they take referrals.
- Shopaholics Anonymous. Do thrift stores count?
- Hoarders Anonymous. When Shopaholics Anonymous doesn’t work.
- Romantics Anonymous. I thought I had found something here. But it was just the name of a French movie.
- UnderEarners Anonymous. Seriously. This is a thing. A legitimate 12 step program. It stems from the premise that under earners are time drunks who waste their life with frivolous activities instead of pursuing legitimate goals. Hmmm. Double Hmmm.
This one is my favorite. I don’t know why. It just is.
- Kleptomaniacs Anonymous. I love it. Here is part of their official statement “..counseling for shoplifting addicts. (CASA) is a unique, independent and secular weekly self-help group”. I find it interesting that they feel compelled to throw in the word ‘secular’. I mean I understand it is because traditional 12 step programs require acknowledgment of a higher power, but it still stood out to me. I went to their website. This guy offers a weekly phone counseling service. There is even a testimonial with an unidentifiable person holding a hair dryer. I’m not making this up.
And I guess I shouldn’t be mocking it either. These groups could be helping real people with genuine problems. The good news for me is that while I spent all that time researching ‘anonymous’ groups, I didn’t take the time to put back up my online dating profile.
I am not against online dating as a concept. I have met some very interesting and quite nice men through the process. You may even get to ‘meet’ some of them here at a later time. However there is quite the pull on me to fall back on it like a crutch when I get lonely. That does bother me a bit. It’s like a quick fix. A temporary buzz. Overall though it is mostly meaningless (frivolous) banter and does actually waste time (instead of pursuing a legitimate goal). Maybe I should go back and bookmark the Under-Earners Anonymous website.