Ok. I admit
it. I want you to like me. ALL of you. Well, maybe not all of you. But most of
you.
Why is that?
Why is it so important for people to like us? Accept us? Approve of us? I don’t like asking questions that I can’t
answer. Other than acknowledging it is a universal human condition, it stumps
me. Sure, people all the time are heard saying…”I don’t care what anyone
thinks” or “If they don’t like me that’s their problem”. Bravado all around. We
care. And we do tend make it our
problem if we think they don’t. The pack
mentality is strong and there are very few true lone wolves.
The angst
begins building in early adolescence. I remember in Junior High (They don’t
call it Junior High anymore. It’s Middle School now. What happened there?)
passing around Slang Books. To be honest, I didn’t remember they were called
Slang Books. I had to ask one of my best friends from that era what they were
called. Thanks Sandra! Anyway, for those who didn’t have this ritual, it began
with a simple spiral notebook. Each page had the name of a kid in the class on
the top line. The notebook was then passed around and everyone took a turn
writing something about each person on their ‘page’. (Pre-Facebook much??) Yikes!
What a concept. Who thought that up? Of COURSE when it reached your desk, the first thing you did was to
see what the others had written on your
page (or was that just me?). The group hierarchy was formed within those
cardboard wire-wrapped walls. Of course, that was many (many) years ago. As
adults, we no longer formulate methods of comparisons. Do we? We wouldn’t do
that to ourselves. Would we? Unfortunately even maturing past those hard bound
copies of Slang Books, I’m afraid we have still discovered many ways to size
ourselves up.
LIKE ME ON
FACEBOOK……..FOLLOW ME ON TWITTER……ADD ME TO SNAPCHAT…… Our entire social
networking landscape is built around being connected to everyone on every level.
He (or she) who has the most ‘friends’ wins. (I don’t really have a twitter
account. And just the name snapchat freaks me out for some reason.)
Humor me……you
post a picture on Facebook then go back in a little while to see how many likes
you got. Right? Oh, is that just me again??
Look, it’s
natural to want to be accepted and fit in. To belong. The key is to not get
bothered by it. Not change who you are to achieve it. Never double cross
yourself to be included. Without sounding too philosophical and lofty, we each
have to discover what it is about ourselves that WE like. Be your own biggest
fan. It isn’t vain to have attributes and gifts that you are proud of. When we
can celebrate who we are as individuals and enjoy our own company, then we will
attract others who will complement our lives and not just fill a slot on a
roster. (Ok, that does sound philosophical and lofty. Sorry.) It is true none
the less.
I still have
a few good friends from high school. Not because of words on a slang book page,
but because we have maintained a genuine interest in each other’s lives. I have
a few very good friends here in South Carolina. Friends that I know would have
my back. I hope they view me as someone valuable to have in their corner as
well. Quality certainly trumps quantity in this area. So while my ‘friend’s
list’ might not be as impressive as others, I wouldn’t trade the ones I have
for anything.
Of course,
there’s always room for one or two more….So come on.....You know you like me.
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