Relationship Advice From Termites - Lose Your Wings

While working on a blog article for a pest control company I came across a tidbit of information that I thought was quite interesting. Never one to keep such pearls of wisdom to myself, I decided to share it with you.

If you want to know a secret to a long-lasting marriage, look no further than wood chomping insect hopefully NOT hiding out in your walls.

The Mating Ritual

Termites live in colonies that are led by a king and queen. (That in and of itself is noteworthy, and will be expanded on later.) When a colony exceeds its size threshold and it is time for new colonies to be formed, termites start their ‘swarming' season.

Termites are born with wings. During the swarming season, they fly around looking for a mate. When the love ‘bug’ bites and they choose their termite spouse, they then go set up house in a tasty wood bungalow alone. And get this, as soon as they enter, their wings fall off at the door.

What?? And why, may you ask, does that happen? Because the new termite union no longer needs them. They have found their forever home.

Ok, that might have been a little long on the sappy, but the point was just too good to pass up. If a termite can figure out how to stay committed and faithful, it shouldn’t be so hard for us humans.

The Swarming Season

Dating in today’s world can certainly seem like a swarming season. There is a whirlwind of dating apps, texts, online chats, etc, and so forth. There is an abundance of possibilities, and it takes time and a clear head and heart to make the right choice.

Don’t fall for the first pretty set of wings that come your way. Your king or queen is out there, you just need to make sure you hold out for the one worthy of letting go of your wings.

And just because so many others are swarming out there with you, don’t be in a rush. The right one will find you. Overlooking red flags and moving too quickly is a dangerous combination that will surely set you up for disaster, if not failure. Do your due diligence and reap the reward.

Then, just like that sawdust chewing ant clone, once you have chosen someone to go through life with, it’s time to remove your wings. No safety net. No escape route. (Now, let me just add this, so there is no mistake on my position. IF the person you have chosen turns out to be mean, unstable, or a dangerous partner, do not continue to live in fear or intimidation. If you can't fly, then run, walk, or crawl back out into the sunlight.)

How To Remove Your Wings

It is now time to settle in and give it your all. Here are some things that will help.

Delete Your Ex's Information

Your ex is an ex for a reason. Whether you called it quits, or they broke your heart, they are in the rearview mirror. There is generally no reason to keep their contact information stored in your phone. (And that includes photos and texts). When things get rough at home (and they will occasionally), it will be too easy to get back in touch. What you may call a simple text just to ‘say hi’, could open the door to a ton of problems.

Of course, if you want to reconnect with someone it is easy enough to do even if you do delete their information, but the process itself shows good faith and moving forward in the right direction.

On a side note, stay out of your high school yearbook. There is story after story of someone contacting their high school sweetheart through social media to see how they are. While this seems sweet and innocent enough, it can easily trigger old feelings. Seldom do those connections lead to anything fulfilling, and they can actually do damage to your current relationship.

Don’t Willingly Follow Temptation

Temptation is going to find you. It just is. It might be a new co-worker, the teller at the bank, or the Amazon driver for all your new online shopping sprees. It doesn’t matter who it is, it is what you do when you recognize it.

SHUT IT DOWN

We all like to feel attractive, valued, and remembered. But you can’t get validation from someone who still has their wings. Be friendly, stay cordial, and keep your distance if any feelings start to bubble up on either side. Trust me, the sooner you do that, the easier it will be to stop.

Treat Your Partner Like a King or Queen

In the article I read for my research it said the King Termite took care of the Queen. (I promise, I’m just passing along what I read.) And while I love that idea, I understand it should be a two-way street. It is not just the responsibility of one person to hold up the relationship.

If you have done a good job at picking a partner, and then set about to make them feel warm, respected, and loved, I’m betting your old musty, shriveled up wings will be the last thing on your mind. Your focus will be on their happiness, and theirs will be yours. Neither one of you will be looking for an escape hatch.

My Hopefuls, I am all too familiar with the struggles of a long term relationship. The added stresses of today’s world will also take a toll on even the strongest of unions. It is not my intention to throw a few words out into the atmosphere and believe all will be romantic and rosy.

But it is my intention to shed a little light on one simple truth that I discovered in an unlikely place in nature. Even termites understand the importance of commitment. Even termites know the value of discarded the one thing they could use to bail when things got rough.

Even termites know to LOSE THE WINGS!

And now so do YOU!!

And, as always…

Hope With Abandon

Hope Out!

www. hopeboulevard.com


Are We Still Really The Land Of The Free And The Home Of The Brave?



In 2020, I'm not so sure anymore. 

I love America. I'm not particularly political, but I am all in patriotic. And I'm not ashamed of being that way. But I am, at this point and time, pretty confused. 

I'm no expert, but it feels as if America has been sucker-punched. And I'm not a conspiracy theorist or suspicious by nature. I just believe we are starting to lose our way. 

For starters, for living in the land of the free, almost everyone is afraid. And living in fear is not living in freedom. 

Some people are afraid to go anywhere without wearing a mask. 

Others don't want to wear masks, but are afraid of being told they are selfish if they don't. 

Black people are afraid of being a victim of racism. 

Almost everyone else is afraid to say or do anything that might be thought of as racism. 

Peaceful protestors are afraid of being harassed by bad police. 

Good police officers are afraid of being targeted and attacked by violent protestors. 

Many people are afraid to drive through the streets of their own cities for concern of being blocked or attacked. 

People are afraid to voice an opinion too loudly at the risk of being misunderstood and losing friends, jobs, or family. 

People are quickly and quietly being 'forced' to take a 'side', without understanding what each side is actually fighting against or standing for. And heaven help us all if you pick the 'wrong' side. 

None of those things sound like the land of the free. It sounds like chaos that has been left unchecked. And it feels like the bully mentality has taken over. 

And what about bravery? Where does that come in? 

Bravery is not the absence of fear, but the willingness to stand up to fear and fight for what you believe in. That's how and why our nation was founded in the first place. 

The problem with bravery is that bullies can't stand it and try to tear it down. 

Bullies come in all colors, cultures, economic status, and political affiliation. 

Burning down a business and looting is the act of a bully. 

Controlling people by mass fear is the act of a bully. 

Mistreating someone, or a group of someones, because of the color of their skin is the act of a bully. 

Pretending you can re-write laws, history and decency is the act of a bully. 

So what are we to do?? 

Perfect love casts out all fear. And yes, that is a Biblical reference. And yes, that actually needs to be our first step. Once again becoming one nation under God. And from there, these steps of love. 

If you have hurt someone, make it right. Without being forced to. Without being shamed into it because it was caught on video. Just do the right thing. You don't have to pay for the mistakes of others, but you should make amends for your own. 

If someone has hurt you, find a way to heal. You can tell that person and give them a chance to accept what they did and fix things. But you can't make them. You can, however, choose to walk away from that person. No one has the right to continue to mistreat you. But what YOU don't have the right to do is make everyone else around you pay either. You can't become bitter, suspicious, and abrasive to all for the acts of one. There are ways to heal, and you owe it to yourself to find them. 

If you see someone hurting another, take a stand. Say something. Do something. Protest if you must. But stay focused on what you are protesting. Stay committed to the true cause. And when others use your bandwagon to play their music, call them on it. They have to find their own bandwagon and not hijack yours or your message. 

We have made a mistake in telling everyone they get a trophy for participating. You are not entitled to a trophy for showing up in this life. 

You were given one life. Not everyone is given the same circumstances, advantages, gifts, and talents, but everyone is given a chance. What are you doing with yours? 

Are you taking the steps to make it better? Are you learning what you can to have the facts? Are you committed to living your best life despite what anyone else says? Are you willing to take responsibility for your corner of the world? 

My Hopefuls, we still DO live in the land of the free and the home of the brave. And don't let anyone take that away. Be true to yourself. Do you. Be respectful of others, but stand for what you believe. Don't fall for the tactics of bullies, and never become one yourself. 

Be as brave as you need to be so you can be as free as you want to be.  

And as always.....

Hope With Abandon 

Hope Out








 







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