Relationship Advice From Termites - Lose Your Wings
While working on a blog article for a pest control company I came across a tidbit of information that I thought was quite interesting. Never one to keep such pearls of wisdom to myself, I decided to share it with you.
If you want to know a secret to a long-lasting marriage, look no further than wood chomping insect hopefully NOT hiding out in your walls.
The Mating Ritual
Termites live in colonies that are led by a king and queen. (That in and of itself is noteworthy, and will be expanded on later.) When a colony exceeds its size threshold and it is time for new colonies to be formed, termites start their ‘swarming' season.
Termites are born with wings. During the swarming season, they fly around looking for a mate. When the love ‘bug’ bites and they choose their termite spouse, they then go set up house in a tasty wood bungalow alone. And get this, as soon as they enter, their wings fall off at the door.
What?? And why, may you ask, does that happen? Because the new termite union no longer needs them. They have found their forever home.
Ok, that might have been a little long on the sappy, but the point was just too good to pass up. If a termite can figure out how to stay committed and faithful, it shouldn’t be so hard for us humans.
The Swarming Season
Dating in today’s world can certainly seem like a swarming season. There is a whirlwind of dating apps, texts, online chats, etc, and so forth. There is an abundance of possibilities, and it takes time and a clear head and heart to make the right choice.
Don’t fall for the first pretty set of wings that come your way. Your king or queen is out there, you just need to make sure you hold out for the one worthy of letting go of your wings.
And just because so many others are swarming out there with you, don’t be in a rush. The right one will find you. Overlooking red flags and moving too quickly is a dangerous combination that will surely set you up for disaster, if not failure. Do your due diligence and reap the reward.
Then, just like that sawdust chewing ant clone, once you have chosen someone to go through life with, it’s time to remove your wings. No safety net. No escape route. (Now, let me just add this, so there is no mistake on my position. IF the person you have chosen turns out to be mean, unstable, or a dangerous partner, do not continue to live in fear or intimidation. If you can't fly, then run, walk, or crawl back out into the sunlight.)
How To Remove Your Wings
It is now time to settle in and give it your all. Here are some things that will help.
Delete Your Ex's Information
Your ex is an ex for a reason. Whether you called it quits, or they broke your heart, they are in the rearview mirror. There is generally no reason to keep their contact information stored in your phone. (And that includes photos and texts). When things get rough at home (and they will occasionally), it will be too easy to get back in touch. What you may call a simple text just to ‘say hi’, could open the door to a ton of problems.
Of course, if you want to reconnect with someone it is easy enough to do even if you do delete their information, but the process itself shows good faith and moving forward in the right direction.
On a side note, stay out of your high school yearbook. There is story after story of someone contacting their high school sweetheart through social media to see how they are. While this seems sweet and innocent enough, it can easily trigger old feelings. Seldom do those connections lead to anything fulfilling, and they can actually do damage to your current relationship.
Don’t Willingly Follow Temptation
Temptation is going to find you. It just is. It might be a new co-worker, the teller at the bank, or the Amazon driver for all your new online shopping sprees. It doesn’t matter who it is, it is what you do when you recognize it.
SHUT IT DOWN
We all like to feel attractive, valued, and remembered. But you can’t get validation from someone who still has their wings. Be friendly, stay cordial, and keep your distance if any feelings start to bubble up on either side. Trust me, the sooner you do that, the easier it will be to stop.
Treat Your Partner Like a King or Queen
In the article I read for my research it said the King Termite took care of the Queen. (I promise, I’m just passing along what I read.) And while I love that idea, I understand it should be a two-way street. It is not just the responsibility of one person to hold up the relationship.
If you have done a good job at picking a partner, and then set about to make them feel warm, respected, and loved, I’m betting your old musty, shriveled up wings will be the last thing on your mind. Your focus will be on their happiness, and theirs will be yours. Neither one of you will be looking for an escape hatch.
My Hopefuls, I am all too familiar with the struggles of a long term relationship. The added stresses of today’s world will also take a toll on even the strongest of unions. It is not my intention to throw a few words out into the atmosphere and believe all will be romantic and rosy.
But it is my intention to shed a little light on one simple truth that I discovered in an unlikely place in nature. Even termites understand the importance of commitment. Even termites know the value of discarded the one thing they could use to bail when things got rough.
Even termites know to LOSE THE WINGS!
And now so do YOU!!
And, as always…
Hope With Abandon