As a single girl I have learned over the years that we all
have different relationship goals. Some want to get married. Some want a steady
romance, but not ready for marriage. Others actually like being single and the
‘goal’ is to stay that way. And then there are those, whom by choice or mental instability
go the route of the serial dater.
A serial dater is defined as one who dates and/or has
multiple partners. A revolving door, if you will, of playmates and activities.
They enjoy the variety. No pressure to
focus on just one person. It has even
been referred to as a “healthy option to avoid obsession”. Yeah, that’s a stretch for me, but nice try.
There are those that believe it decreases boredom while
increasing amusement. However that usually comes at someone’s expense. And
speaking of expense, it is not the path to take if you are on a tight budget.
Going out several times a week can put a huge dent in your pocket. Serial
dating can also take on different forms. It can be used by those just looking
for fun and an assortment of activities. Some apply the concept just to have casual
sex. Others might combine those two while claiming to actually be looking for
someone to take seriously.
I guess it sounds like I’m a hater. I don’t really mean to
be. I understand you cannot meet one person, one time and decide you have found
forever. (Unless you live in a Lifetime movie.) It is a process. I get that.
Maybe I’m just jealous. I am not good at juggling. At my age I can’t remember
my grocery list if there are more than two items. I certainly could not be
responsible for remembering multiple names/dates/places to be. I would have to
be lucky enough to only date guys named Bill. Or Xavier.
So since I am obviously incapable of being a serial dater, I
will do what everyone else does when they can’t master a skill….. Mock it.
So here is my Ode To Cereal (I mean Serial) Daters:
Alpha-Bits – This
Serial Dater (hereafter referred to as SD) has a Rolodex of names ready at
their disposal for a last minute rendezvous.
Fruit Loops –
This wacky SD can’t make up their mind and keeps going back to ‘recycle’ dates.
The crazy thing about Fruit Loops, is that it takes one to know (or go back to)
one.
Cheerios – Just
happy being free and unattached. Always up for a good time.
Corn Pops – The
SD who pops in and out of your life/phone just when you think they are gone for
good. The difference between Fruit Loops and Corn Pops is that you don’t keep falling for their games.
Corn Flakes – This
SD is just Plain and Non-Committal.
(At least if you are going to be non-committal, be exciting and flamboyant.)
Frosted Flakes –
Non-Committals with gray hair.
Fruity Pebbles –
We ALL know SDs like these. Just plain crazy. Avoid at all costs.
Honeycomb – These
are the sweet talkers. They want you to believe they are not really SDs. They
know just the right things to say to make you believe they are legit. It takes
a little time and gut instinct, but you will eventually see through them.
Life – This SD is
of a more serious variety. They are not ready to settle down, but they are upfront
about their plan/agenda. I guess if you are going to spend time with a SD, this
would be a good one to go with.
King Vitaman –
Since they don’t have a Queen Vitaman, I’m going gender specific and say.. He’s
the MAN. (Or thinks he is.)
Kix – Just wants
to have fun. Similar to Cheerios, except much more exciting.
Lucky Charms – If
you are charming, you might get lucky. I
actually met a guy whose online profile name was Lucky Charms. True story.
Raisin Bran –
This one tries hard to keep you going.
Rice Krispies –
Snap, Crackle, Pop. Always exciting, but with too much going on. Hard to pin
down to anything specific and not much substance.
Special K –
He/She is convinced you will keep answering their texts, because they are
Special…K?
Total – No lack
of self-confidence with this SD. They believe they are the whole package. It is
quite possible they are. But no one is permitted to stick around long enough to
find out for sure.
Trix – This silly
SD always has something up their sleeve.
And last but not least…
Wheaties – The SD
of Champions. They are experts at juggling and multi-tasking. Maybe they are
honest about it. Maybe they are comfortable with this lifestyle. One thing for
sure, they have done it for so long they couldn’t be in a serious relationship
if they wanted to.
Ok, ok…I guess I am finished with the ridicule. It is
probably true that many serial daters are just in a transitional phase and want
to explore possibilities. There is no crime in that. It is helpful when they are upfront with their dates about their
motivations . I will be optimistic and say most of them probably are. For those
of us who still fall for, or are mis-lead by them, just know it has nothing to
do with you or your worth. It is just where they find themselves on the
journey. We are all allowed a spot on the path.
It is very difficult to be single, starting over and dating
after 50. The pool is shrinking, the waistline is expanding; it’s not always
easy to read the intentions of the person sitting across the table from you.
Just keep a positive outlook. And understand there is no one-size-fits-all way
to dating. Stick to what feels authentic to who you are. If you become really
good at being yourself, you will attract the right people into your life.
Dating or otherwise.
As for me, I’ll stick with Capt’n
Crunch. (I’ve always loved a man in uniform.)
Hope Out.
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