I recently missed an opportunity to go to a Speed Dating
Event. And by missed, I mean, I chose not to go. Not because of lack of
interest. I have been curious about it for years. The Greased Lightning of Love.
I am just not sure how well I would do.
I am a wallflower, watching the room from the corner kind-of-girl. At these events, they don’t put the tables in
the corner. You have to jump right in at a break neck pace and bring your A Game.
Whatever alphabet my game has typically
works at a snail’s pace. (Can we all say Over-Thinker?)
The origins of speed dating, in a very interesting piece of
trivia, traces back to 1998 when a Los Angeles Rabbi trademarked the term and the
concept as a way for Jewish people to meet and marry. Seriously... I would not make
this up. (Just sit on that information for a minute.) Now, I absolutely am not an expert in Jewish
traditions, culture or dating habits, but I find it extremely fascinating that
a Rabbi came up with the original In-Person Tinder Ap.
So let us review the basic concept of Production Line
Dating.
It can vary from location and sponsor, but basically you have
tables in a room with an even number of women and men. One gender is designated
as the slider. Usually it is the men. So
all the women come in and sit down on one side of the table. The men then come
and find a seat across from a woman. A start buzzer sounds and you have
approximately 6-8 minutes to talk with the person directly in front of you. When
the buzzer sounds again, all the men slide one chair over and the process
begins again. There is a tally sheet and each person notes who they would like
to get to know better. At the end of the night, if there is a ‘match’, both
people are given the others contact information.
I don’t know about you, but that seems like a lot of
pressure to me. The upside is you can meet a lot of guys/gals, but I have
enough trouble getting psyched up to try and impress one guy….now I have to
impress 15?? And what can you actually
accomplish in 6 minutes? You can’t even boil an egg or make it through the
Zaxby’s Drive Thru. It takes me 6 minutes to figure out which shoes to wear,
much less which guy I want to give my phone number to. And don’t get me started
me on the competition. They are literally on either side. That’s all I would
need, as my luck would have it, to sit between the likes of Jennifer Anniston
and Sandra Bullock! Plus, knowing me, I couldn’t concentrate because I would
eavesdrop on the other conversations. I’m just nosey like that. It all makes my
head hurt a little.
Since my curiosity was already piqued I did a little more
research. Turns out, according to a study in the Science of Love (true thing), it
only takes between 90 seconds and 4 minutes of face-to-face interaction to
determine attraction. (I guess this would explain the dates that have left me
before the drinks arrived.) In another unusual tidbit of this study, travel was
more important than previous marriages or a smoking habit. (They obviously didn’t
talk to me. My marriage stories are far more entertaining than my travel ones.)
Age (as in younger) is more important to men and height (as in taller) is more
important to women. The men have the advantage here because chairs are an
equalizer in height; not so much for wrinkles.
There are variations of Speed Dating too. Some cities have
Speed Networking. People show up and exchange business cards, chat briefly in a
happy hour type setting in order to broaden their exposure and increase their
contact base. In the UK, they actually have Speed Political Meetings.
Constituents can come meet their representatives. (They just can’t stay long
enough to ask a question that would make the representatives uncomfortable.)
And then there is Speed Food Gathering. There is a new
grocery store opening in the area. The one service they hype is the Personal
Shopper. You go online, fill out your list, drive up to the store and they
bring out your order. Admittedly that is pretty sweet. I despise grocery
shopping. But there is still something to be said for the process. I do not
think I’m ready to surrender my power to check the expiration date or squeeze
the tomatoes. I like to check out the deals and yes, I admit, I will buy
something if I like the packaging. I can see how curb side milk pick up might
be handy, but I still believe certain things need hands on attention. What is
the limit to all these new fangled time saving tricks?
And why are we this terribly obsessed with saving time? What
are we doing that is so important we
have to rush through important experiences and decisions in our lives? We have
become a society that doesn’t appreciate putting time and effort in what should
be a meaningful journey. We operate at full throttle like we are just on the
verge of missing the next big thing, yet we end up missing all the little
things. Checking off too many tasks in a day planner that doesn’t leave time
for the day. I think the phrase is called…going nowhere fast. What are we
doing to ourselves my friends?
I think I got off track a little. It does strike me though
as ironic how much work we put into saving time just so we have more time to do
work. I vote we all slow down a bit. Take a break. Enjoy the sunrise; or
sunset. Walk the dog. Take a hike. Watch a movie. Go on a date with ONE person.
Talk 60 instead of 6 minutes. See how that might work.
I’m not totally against Speed Dating. I might try it one
day. At the very least, it should provide enough fodder for one of these
entries. But for now I think I will avoid hitting the fast track of love. I’ll
just take the scenic route. Maybe stop by the grocery store, actually go inside
and ram my cart into the cute guy at produce counter.
We both still like to squeeze our own tomatoes.
Hope Out
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