Showing posts from October, 2017

Why Didn’t He Call Back? (Dating Mystery #23)

If you notice, the title does not read, “4 Reasons Why He Didn’t Call Back”. That would be a statement implying I know the reason (4 of them to be exact). I intentionally presented this as a question, because, in fact, I don’t know the answer. I have theories, and I am willing to share them with you, but unfortunately this is just one of dating’s true mysteries that strikes everyone from time to time. I am no exception and even though I use this platform to offer advice and encouragement, I ask myself that same question when it happens to me. There are some dates where you know right away that no follow up call/date will come and with most of them you are truly grateful for that knowledge. Then there is the occasional ‘great’ date where all the elements seemed to fall into place. There was connection, ease, fun, maybe even chemistry. After a few bad ones, this date goes just the way you wanted it to. It ends with a lovely, “We should do this again sometime.”  Then……………………..cri

When You Let Yourself Down (How To Get Back Up)

We don’t want to admit it, not out loud. We don’t like the way it makes us feel. We grow accustomed in life to handling when another person or situation disappoints us; but what if the person who let you down was yourself? I know that sounds harsh and possibly even cruel. We beat ourselves up way too often as it is. Why add another layer of guilt? My Hopefuls, this is not about guilt, it is about letting go, learning a lesson and turning a page. It is about forgiving ourselves when we mess up. Maybe it is just me. Maybe I am writing to reach my inner self, who struggles with insecurities, set-backs, wrong turns and bad decisions. But I need to believe, for my own reassurances, that I am not alone in this fight. I want to use my challenges to encourage you to become a better advocate for yourself and a stronger voice in your own life. Let’s look at a few stumbling blocks and steps we can take to get back in the game and back on track. Procrastination – “Wait… I’ll finish

An Empty Saddle (6 Signs You Are Not Ready To Move On)

Most humans are social creatures, meaning we seek out and enjoy the company of other humans; being alone distresses us and we do not really want to be a solo act. After a breakup, most of the advice centers around getting back in the saddle and not giving up. In theory, this is sound advice, but what is often left out of the equation is the time involved. Everyone has a different timetable when it comes to moving on. It is not healthy to push yourself, or someone else, to speed up that process. Successfully navigating towards a new healthy relationship looks different for each individual and all should be allowed to work through the pain and journey at their own pace. While there are no real preset guidelines for when you should consider yourself ready, there are a few red flags that spotlight you are not quite there yet. 1.       Stalking Social Media…. Whether it is their Facebook, SnapChat or Instagram account, you find yourself checking your ex’s status and following t

When HOPE Is Hard To Find

We woke up yesterday morning to news of another tragic mass shooting spree. We tried to wrap our minds around the incredible mayhem and death while listening to news commentators rattle off statistics and recount past occurrences and our capacity to comprehend maxed out. Our hearts hurt and our minds flooded with questions and fears and we wondered out loud, or maybe quietly to ourselves; “What in the world is going on?” We look around at the grief and pain and collectively, as a nation, feel the loss of not only innocent lives, but also our peace, as nowhere seems completely safe now and our HOPE, because we sometimes fail to see it in times like these. What are we to do when HOPE is hard to find? Where do we turn? How do we handle the uncertainty? Faith is a great place to start. There were thousands of Facebook messages and Twitter posts all proclaiming “Prayers for Las Vegas”, and that is a sweet sentiment, but just typing in the words for our social media feed is not th

My Date With Non-Shallow Hal

Shallow Hal was a quirky romantic-comedy movie from 2001 starring Jack Black as a man only interested in the outward physical beauty of a woman; earning him the obvious name Shallow Hal. He was grossly inept at meeting women and after a brief encounter with famous life coach Tony Robbins, was hypnotized to only see a woman’s inner beauty. The rest of the movie unfolds as he starts to date; then lose, then date again a woman who is outwardly obese, but a true gem on the inside.  The moral of the age-old story; that beauty is only skin deep. Fast forward to 2017 and my encounter with a very progressive; non-shallow Hal (aka Chuck). Chuck and I met; where else, online. He was from the mid-west; in the medical field and new to the area. He was a few years older than me; with three daughters. His first wife died when his daughters were very young, and I was impressed with the way he spoke about being a single father. (I know I shouldn’t be more impressed when a guy does it; women do